‘It’s a cushion,’ Rachel replied flatly, her expression only changing when I ran my fingernail around the seam, looking for the concealed zip. I removed the pillow pad, slid the sandwich back inside, and held my creation aloft.

‘That’s actually very good,’ she admitted. ‘If only we could have found a pair of shoes that fit.’

‘I don’t know,’ I lifted up my skirts to reveal my freshly cleaned white trainers. ‘These are more comfortable than heels. And thanks again for the spare pair of knickers.’

‘I never leave home without them.’ She stepped back, took one last admiring look at her work, and planted her hands on her hips. ‘Francesca Cooper, are you ready to go to the ball?’

‘Not in the slightest,’ I replied, taking as deep a breath in as was possible, considering the dress’s internal corsetry. ‘But fuck it, why not?’

‘You’re going to have the most incredible time,’ Rachel said, placing her hands on my shoulders and gently but firmly turning me around until I was facing the door. ‘Eat everything, drink everything and remember it’s ten extra points if you accidentally trip Mark Zuckerberg.’

‘I am still quite mad about the “on this day” feature,’ I replied as I started for the door. ‘Wait, you still haven’t told me how I’m supposed to get into the ball without an invitation. I’m assuming there’s some sort of check on the door?’

‘Oh, it’s worse than that,’ Rachel replied gaily, packing away the last of her makeup brushes and zipping up her suitcase. ‘There’s a facial recognition thing at the entrance that does a biometrics scan, you know, where they scan your iris? So, you can come in and out.’

‘Right,’ I said, feeling a bit weak. ‘That could be a bit of a problem.’

She rolled her eyes as we walked out of the dressing room, across the living room, and down the entrance hall together.

‘I hate to be the one to point this out but you’re a beautiful white woman wearing a stunning designer dress, and once you’re inside the room, no one is going to bat an eyelid at you,’ she said, one hand on the door handle. ‘I mean, looking the way you do right now, you could probably rob an orphanage and get away with it. We’re only trying to get you into a party. All I have to do is get you past the scanner and then you’re away.’

‘What will I tell people if they ask me who I am?’

‘Lie,’ she replied. ‘Make up whatever you want. Who’s going to fact check you? You could be absolutely anyone.’

I paused and gripped my cushion cover bag tightly. I could be absolutely anyone.

‘OK,’ I said, standing in the doorway in a ‘borrowed’ couture gown and someone else’s knickers. ‘I’m ready.’