I wanted to laugh as my mother nodded. She was giving up that easily?

What the hell did ha shalshasa ni meha mean? Because if that’s all I needed to say to get everyone to back off, it was now my new favorite phrase.

Everyone left without another word, leaving me alone with Lorne.

It was quiet with them gone. Too quiet. I’d wanted them to leave, but now I felt more empty and alone, and I wasn’t sure what to say to Lorne. The silent space between us felt like a chasm, one I had no idea how to cross. So instead I finally looked at where I was.

The room was pretty large. It could’ve fit our old Albuquerque apartment in here. There was a sitting area next to some windows, and it looked like there were spots where two armchairs would fit nicely. Thick curtains covered the windows, blocking out whatever was beyond them.

The only light in the room was coming from the lamps on either side of the bed, the massive chandelier hanging from the ceiling, and Lorne. His glow was still so bright, I wasn’t sure I needed any other lights in the room.

I dried my face. It felt like I could breathe again. “Thanks.” It wasn’t much, but that was all I could manage.

“Hmm,” Lorne said as he sat on the foot of my bed, keeping his gaze glued to mine. “I don’t think you’re going to be thanking me at the end of this.”

I wiped my hands on the sheets, suddenly ashamed of everything I was feeling. “I bet you’re pretty mad at me.” He’d said he would never lie to me, but that’s exactly what I’d done to him. I’d lied. And with what I’d said after waking up, he knew it.

“Mad doesn’t even begin to describe what I’m feeling right now.” His voice was filled with heat, and I knew I had to fix this somehow. “You knew you were going to die?”

“I didn’t know for sure, but…” I nodded. Lorne cleared the room—saved me from all the questions and fretting from my mother—which meant I owed him the truth. “I hadn’t felt pain like that before, and after the last few weeks, I pretty much knew what it was like to come close to death. But I…”

I didn’t know how to make him understand, but I couldn’t take the emotionless look on his face as he waited for me to finish. I wanted to tell him to scream at me. To show me what he was feeling. But he was back to the quiet Lorne.