I took a few more steps backward, pulling Ahiga with me. If he really thought I could stop this war, then he was an idiot. I didn’t know my father well enough to convince him of anything. Maybe Declan and Lorne would have better luck, but they didn’t need me for that.

I pushed that aside for now. “But you can’t really help me on Abaddon, can you? Not if you’re going to keep your cover.”

“I’m Elite IAF, which means I’m highly qualified to keep you safe. You might not see me or hear from me, but I’ll be watching. You’ll have to do your job—whatever it is there—but I’m your backup. And I’ll keep being your backup for as long as I’m needed. You’re our best hope, and I’m taking that seriously.”

“Best hope?” That was so iced.

I’d lived in fear for most of my life because of what it would mean if SpaceTech ever found me. I knew what the implications were, but I’d never heard someone else voice it quite like that. That I was the linchpin that could upend the galaxy? That the death of billions could be on my shoulders? That I could be blamed if there was a war?

The pressure that I would be responsible for so many people had never loomed over me in such a way as it did in that moment. Pressure so tangible that my ears started ringing and the air turned too thick for me to breathe.

“Your skin.”

He was right. The glow was still minimal, but it was there.

I sucked in air and counted to six. Three counts out. Three in. Six out. I started walking again, pulling Ahiga with me. He watched me with wide eyes, and I shook my head. I couldn’t talk about it and not panic.

Four in. Eight out. Eight in. Four out. Six in. Three out.

When I had it under control, I stopped counting.

“You okay?”

“I must look pretty bad since everyone keeps asking me that.” But no. I wasn’t okay. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be okay.

Even in the best-case scenario—where I somehow got to Sel’Ani—I wasn’t sure they’d appreciate a halfer any more than the Earthers did. With good reason. The Earthers had slaughtered tens of thousands of Aunare. Yet somehow I was supposed to bridge the two species?

No. I definitely wasn’t okay.

Chapter Fourteen

It must’ve taken us nearly thirty minutes to inch our way to the other side of the hangar when I could’ve done it in less than ten. By the time we reached the end of the catwalks, my throat was dry, and I longed for a home I’d never see again.

“I’m hoping you’ve got it from here?”

Ahiga grunted. “Come on.”