Back Never Look Back
Chapters (51)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. One
  4. Two
  5. Three
  6. Four
  7. Five
  8. Six
  9. Seven
  10. Eight
  11. Nine
  12. Ten
  13. Eleven
  14. Twelve
  15. Thirteen
  16. Fourteen
  17. Fifteen
  18. Sixteen
  19. Seventeen
  20. Eighteen
  21. Nineteen
  22. Twenty
  23. Twenty-One
  24. Twenty-Two
  25. Twenty-Three
  26. Twenty-Four
  27. Twenty-Five
  28. Twenty-Six
  29. Twenty-Seven
  30. Twenty-Eight
  31. Twenty-Nine
  32. Thirty
  33. Thirty-One
  34. Thirty-Two
  35. Thirty-Three
  36. Thirty-Four
  37. Thirty-Five
  38. Thirty-Six
  39. Thirty-Seven
  40. Thirty-Eight
  41. Thirty-Nine
  42. Forty
  43. Forty-One
  44. Forty-Two
  45. Forty-Three
  46. Acknowledgments
  47. P.S. Insights, Interviews & More . . .*
  48. About the Author
  49. About the Book
  50. Also by Alison Gaylin
  51. About the Publisher

At least Quentin’s mother wasn’t alive to see this—her son in the lead role of psycho killer. As a journalist, Robin found it troubling how quickly the press had jumped on Quentin Garrison, bending and molding him into something that had to be so much simpler than who he was. She wondered if Quentin had seen the newspapers wherever he was. And as a daughter, she had to admit, she hoped he had. She couldn’t find it in her to fret too much over inaccurate press coverage when it came to the man who’d murdered her father. But she did feel sorry for the people in his life who had trusted him. His friends. That handsome husband. Had they known he’d just implode?

Robin’s phone extension buzzed. Eileen, again. “You okay, sweetie?” she said for probably the tenth time today—a real achievement considering it was only 11:00 A.M.

Robin quit out of the article as though Eileen could see her screen. “Fine,” she said. “Just coming up with column ideas.”

Eileen said, “How do you feel about the idea of writing a personal essay?”

Robin’s jaw tightened. Last night, she and Eric had sat bolt upright in bed, awakened by a scream. Robin had hurried into the guest room to find Mom still asleep, thrashing and mumbling. She’d tried to wake her. Mom? she’d said. You’re having a nightmare.

But Renee had stayed trapped in the dream. Put it out, her mother had said in a rough, unfamiliar voice, her eyelids fluttering open and shut. Put out the motherfucking fire. Her whole life up until that moment, Robin had never once heard Renee swear.

Some personal essay that would be.

“I’ll think about it,” Robin said.

Eileen didn’t say anything for several seconds. “You know what, Robbie?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want a personal essay.”

Robin exhaled.

“To tell the truth, I really hope something happens to knock this story out of the headlines, so we can all just go back to normal.”

Robin smiled. She’d arrived at work to a big flower arrangement on her desk—lilacs and white roses, her favorites. There had also been a sympathy card from the whole office, but clearly it had been engineered by Eileen, who was the only one in this place who knew what her favorite flowers were. “Maybe Beyoncé will drop an album,” Robin said.

“I’m praying to her as we speak.”

“You’re a good friend, Eileen.”

“Stop it.”

“I mean it,” she said. “Also, I never thanked you for the flowers.”

“What? Oh . . .”

“Seriously. You didn’t have to do that.”

“Actually, hon,” Eileen said, “the flowers were from your hubby.”