“I’m going to throw up,” I said, “so you better stop this car.” He pulled over to the side of the road and I tore open the door and began to throw up into a ditch. The terrible sweet taste of Coke and bourbon filled my nose and throat. I threw up for what seemed an eternity, then I got back into the car and rolled up in a ball and fell asleep. Did they really kill people? Did they really march around in those capes and kidnap people and hang them from trees? What a terrible dark world it was. How could I live in a world with terrible dark things in it? What a mess I was in.

In the morning I resolved to change my ways. I cleaned up my room and helped my mother take care of the baby, Johnny, and even offered to polish silver. When Charles William called I told him I was busy. It was almost four o’clock that afternoon before I called him back and told him to come on over.

“That was really bad,” I said. “That was a terrible thing to do.”

“Why do you always feel guilty?” he answered. “You feel guilty about everything you do.”

“I don’t know. But I know one thing. I have to start swimming again. Starting tomorrow I’m going to the pool every morning and swim at least four miles.”

“You’re getting so thin. You’re almost too thin, Dee. Maybe you should go off your diet.”

“No. All I need to do is start back swimming. No more sneaking out after this, Charles William. From now on I’m going to be a lady.” I poured tea for him from the silver service I had brought out onto the screened porch. Irise was coming across the street wearing a pink sundress. People were starting to come over to have a drink with my parents. It was all right. We were not in Warwick County. Warwick County had nothing to do with us. We were right here on the porch of my momma’s house in Dunleith.

Chapter

6