“What I really came down here for was to ask you something,” I said. “Do you promise not to tell anyone I asked you?”

“Of course. Anything you tell me is confidential. I’m a physician.”

“Well, I think I’m pregnant and I want to get an abortion. I want you to tell me where to go.”

“Oh, Rhoda. It’s probably hysterical. Haven’t you been wearing your diaphragm?”

“Yes, but a rubber broke the other night and I’m five days late.”

“Wait a minute. I thought you were wearing the diaphragm.”

“I was wearing the diaphragm and we were using a rubber too.”

“You were using a rubber and a diaphragm?”

“I can’t stand to be pregnant. I can’t stand the idea of it. I’m scared to death of getting cut open again. I told you that the first time I came in here. Now it’s happened anyway. I’m five days late.”

“Five days isn’t much.”

“I’m never late. I’m usually a few days early. Besides, I think I am. I feel like I am.”

“You couldn’t have symptoms this soon. It’s probably hysterical. Come in tomorrow and bring a specimen and we’ll do a test.”

“No.” I had gotten up and was walking around the room. I opened the door to the hall. I walked out into the hall, then back into the room. “No, I know I am and I don’t want a test. I don’t want there to be a record of me being pregnant. Then if they find out they can put me in jail.”

“Oh, Rhoda.”

“Don’t patronize me. I’m too tired and scared for that. I want the name. Will you give me the name?”

He hesitated. He shook his head. He spread out his hands.

“I’ll fuck you if you’ll tell me. I know you want to fuck me. You’ve been wanting to fuck me ever since you met me. You want to every time I come to church. Sometimes I get dressed up and sit in front of you just to make you want me. Well, will you? Will you or not?” I had started unbuttoning my dress. My bra was showing and my slip. “Tell me the name and I’ll let you do it. I’ll do it so well you never will forget it.”

“Doctor Van Zandt,” he said. “In Houston, Texas. I’ll give you a phone number. He won’t hurt you. He does it the way it should be done.”

I unbuttoned the rest of my dress and let it slip to the floor.

Malcolm was standing in the carport with Klane beside him when I drove up. “Where have you been?” he asked. “It’s almost seven-thirty. Have you been drinking again?”