“Yes. But he’s in love with me. Everyone’s in love with me, except my husband. I think he hates me. He thinks I’m fat. No matter how thin I get, he still thinks I’m fat. He used to have this girlfriend in Atlanta. Pepper Allen, she looks like a boy. I bet she doesn’t weigh a hundred pounds. I think he’s still in love with her. I think he wishes all the time he’d married her. He only married me for Daddy’s money.” I was starting to cry. There was a box of Kleenex on the doctor’s desk and I got up and got a piece and began to cry into it.

“Well, that sounds pretty bad. I don’t blame you for feeling bad.”

“I want to quit drinking. I read about this stuff in Time magazine. Antabuse. If you take it, you can’t drink. I want you to get me some. I really need it. If I don’t stop, it’s going to ruin my marriage and I’ll have to go home and live with my folks again. They drive me crazy.”

“I’ll give you some Antabuse if you can take it. You’ll have to have blood tests done at the hospital and we’ll have to wait for the results, but if you can tolerate it, I don’t mind trying. You’ll have to be sure all the alcohol is out of your system. Can you quit for two weeks for me, Rhoda?”

“Sure. I can do anything. I’m going crazy with things the way they are. I’m not an alcoholic. I only drink to have fun.”

“Well, don’t have any more fun for two weeks and get the blood tests done. Can you come back on Thursday?” He pulled a notebook out of his desk and began to look at his appointments. “My nurse is gone for a few days. I have to do this myself. Yes, Thursday at two. Can you come then?”

“Sure. Whatever you want me to do.”

“What do you fight about besides him saying you’re fat.”

“He’s jealous of me. He never lets me have any friends. He thinks I want to sleep with everyone.”

“And do you? Want to?”

“No, of course not.”

“Men are herd animals. They project their desires onto their wives. They think you want to do what they want to do.”

“I don’t think he thinks about anybody else, except Pepper Allen.”

“Well, that’s good. Here. Take this over to the hospital and get the tests made and I’ll see you Thursday then.” He stood up. He smiled at me. He was very old, at least fifty years old. I didn’t even want him to desire me. I didn’t even want to sleep with him.