I looked at the vast clusters of stars, the unbelievable space and beauty of the universe. I looked as long as I could bear so much truth, then I stood up and turned to Jim. He put his hands very very gingerly on my waist and moved nearer to me and finally I was standing very close to him and we were both completely still. After what seemed like a long time I raised my head and kissed him on the lips and he returned my kiss. Shyly at first, like a very young boy, he very very carefully began to kiss me. I had never imagined kissing another man while I was married. But I was doing it. It was very strange, very gentle and hesitant, very different from the passion I had with Malcolm. It was as hesitant and quiet as a question about the stars.

“I want to see you again if I can,” he said. “I have to be in court all day tomorrow but if you’ll be here tomorrow night I’ll come back. When do you leave?”

“Sunday. Come tomorrow night. I’ll be waiting for you. I want to see you too.”

“As soon as I can get away. A man’s life depends on me right now, Rhoda. I’m in over my head down there. So I don’t know what time. It might be late.”

“That’s okay. Whenever you get here.” I moved back, I was still in his arms but already I felt the cold encroachment of parting. Always it was this way. Love drew me near, then whatever I loved went away. Sometimes I just pushed it away and got it over with.

But Jim Phillips wouldn’t be pushed away. He kept hold of me. “You’re a very special girl, Rhoda. There’s a light inside of you, a vibrancy.”

“I don’t know what to say. I’ve never had anyone talk to me like that.”

“You don’t have to say anything. Everything doesn’t have to happen all at once. We have this night and these stars and then tomorrow night we’ll have something else.”

“Jim.”

“Yes.”

“Kiss me again please. I want you to kiss me.”

Later that night, after Jim left and everyone else had gone to bed, I sat in the guest room with Derry and talked to her alone.

“What do you think of Jim?” she asked.

“He’s so nice. I don’t think I’ve ever met a man that kind. God,” I started giggling, “he’s so messy. Is he always that messy?”