I closed my eyes. The mahogany blades of the fan turned above me. The baby stirred in his crib, sighed, breathed. How large were the breaths he was taking? About the right size to fill a piece of bubble gum, I decided. I closed my eyes, imagining little bubble gum–sized breaths going in and out of his lungs. I slept awhile and woke up with him crying and picked him up and put him beside me in the bed and let him find a breast. The long pull started in my nipple and traveled all the way down to my vagina. It felt wonderful and he was wonderful and I patted his tiny head.