Deedy leans against the counter as I pick up my pacing speed, preparing for her to jump to Jake’s defense.

I wait.

And I wait.

“Good for you. You absolutely deserve that kind of man. Don’t ever think otherwise.”

I stop, mouth agape.

More waiting.

“And?”

Deedy shrugs. “And nothing.”

“You’re not going to sing Jake’s praises and convince me to forgive him if he comes around and wants my forgiveness?”

“Nope. Honestly, while Jake is family in my heart, I try to let him make his own decisions. I try to let him distance himself from the past where I was married to Gavin. I haven’t even told your dad everything about Jake and his relationship with Gavin. I want Jake to share those details if and when he’s ready.”

My clenched hands relax along with my tense shoulders and stiff jaw. “Okay then. Just …” I blow out my pent-up anger. “Know that I do love him. I just need to love myself more—in an emotional, self-preservation way. And thank you for not telling my dad every detail. Even now, I don’t want him worrying about me.”

“I’ll eventually tell him because I don’t want to have secrets between us.”

I nod slowly.

“But Avery … going back to what you just said …you don’t have to love yourself before you love someone else, but it sure is a gift to them if you do. And you owe me no explanation for whatever you decide about Jake.”

Ouch. Did I expect Jake to love me enough for both of us?

“I think I need time,” I whisper.

“Time is good.” She walks toward me.

We are not hugging it out.

Crap.

She wraps her arms around me. I stiffen. She hugs me tighter. I hold my ground.

Hold it.

Hold tightly.

Hold my breath.

Double dammit, Deedy! Here come the tears.

Chapter Twenty-Three

“Where’s my stuff?”

“Hey, baby. You back in town? We should have dinner and discuss your dilemma.” Anthony’s once honey-smooth voice feels like a nasty case of road rash on my nerves.

Dilemma? My knee will show his shriveled nuts a dilemma, right after I knock out his stupid capped teeth so all he can do is lick chocolate mousse from Kim’s loose lower lips.

“My stuff, asshole. I had a place to live filled with furnishings before I met you.”

“I got you a bigger apartment.”

“I didn’t ask you to do that. So you can hand it all back over to me or my attorney will make sure you pay out the ass for all the emotional stress you put me through over the past month.”

“I let Kim go.”

“I don’t care.”

“I miss you.”

“I despise you.”