‘That’s not going to happen to us, sweetheart,’ he’d said. ‘You mustn’t dwell on their loss. But you must be more careful and follow all the advice and guidelines I give you.’

‘But it seems so … so wrong,’ she’d said, quickly checking herself. She’d been on the verge of saying it was so unfair, but then Rick would want to know what she meant by that. And that was something she could never say to him, or to anyone for that matter. Because, as awful as it was, and even though she was now eighteen weeks, she still wasn’t sure she wanted the baby she was carrying. Whereas Lucy most definitely had wanted hers. God forgive her, but Willow would have readily swapped places with her friend if she could. Here, have my baby, you deserve it so much more than I do, and you’ll be a much better mother than me.

‘I want you to promise me you won’t drink any alcohol behind my back today,’ Rick said, crashing into her guilty thoughts. ‘Not like you did last weekend.’

Willow squirmed in her seat at his mentioning that again. He hadn’t said anything at the time in the garden in front of everyone, but later that night when they were in bed, he’d taken her to task. ‘I could smell wine on your breath when I came back from the pub with Tom and Ellis,’ he’d said crossly. ‘I just don’t understand why you would be so stupid and so recklessly selfish as to risk it.’

‘It was Martha’s idea,’ she’d lied, hating herself for blaming her sister.

‘I might have known,’ he’d said. ‘But I expected better from you. You need to remember that it’s not just your baby inside you, it’s mine as well. I have a right to insist that you’re careful.’

‘Don’t worry, I have no intention of drinking any wine today,’ Willow said now in answer to his request. ‘It only happened that day because Martha and I were celebrating with Mum. And as I told you, it was a very small glass of wine, no more than a thimbleful. I was just entering into the spirit of the occasion. It was a special moment for us Miller Girls, you know.’

‘Well,’ he said with a smile, ‘don’t get any ideas about doing that again today. And be careful what you eat. Especially if it’s a barbecue like last Sunday.’

‘Yes,’ she said tiredly, wishing he would stop treating her as if she were a child. She knew he meant well, but the more he fussed over her, the more she longed to be free of his endless nagging. What she wouldn’t give to be her carefree, irresponsible self! To stop being this boring stranger she was now expected to be. It wasn’t who she was, it really wasn’t.

Willow wasn’t the only one not to be her true self; Martha was also behaving differently. She had asked Willow to be sure to arrive before the others, for what purpose Willow didn’t really know, other than to lend a hand with anything that needed doing. But each time Willow offered to do something, she was told not to fuss by Martha, who was flapping about like a demented whirling dervish. A state of affairs that couldn’t have been more at odds with her expensively fitted kitchen, which was show-room smart at all times. Even today when guests were due any minute for lunch. Willow had never thought about it before, but Martha and Tom would probably feel very at home in Rick’s apartment where there was never anything out of place. Other than Willow, that was.