He lets go of my hand and I take the opportunity to get up, gather my clothes, and go to the bathroom. It’s beautiful, but I realize it doesn’t have a door at all. The tub is practically in the bedroom. The only section that has a door is the toilet, so I take my clothes there and sit down as I begin to cry. I’m not sure how long I’m in there, but the knock comes faster than anticipated and I’m still naked, so I stand up and start getting dressed.

“Van.”

“Just stop, Adam.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to give you what you want,” he says, “I would love nothing more than a family with you. I mean that. You’re the only woman I’ve ever met that I truly want that with. I just . . . I’m scared, okay?”

I finish getting dressed and wipe my face again before opening the door. “I’m scared too but I really want this. Even if I don’t give birth and I end up adopting, this is something I want.”

He’s silent for a moment. I brush past him and continue looking for my things as he follows me around the hotel room. When I have everything, I turn to him with a small smile that I’m hoping will ease his mind. He looks sad and tired and confused.

“It was nice seeing you tonight. This was . . . very nice.”

“Van,” he says when I’m by the door. “Go with me to the gala tomorrow night.”

“No.”

“Will you be there?”

“Maybe.” I open the door.

“Please go.”

I sigh. “We’ll see, Adam.”

I let the door shut between us and walk over to the elevator, riding it down in silence. Even my thoughts are muted. The only thing I feel are my heavy limbs and sore core, a reminder of where he’s been and what we did. A reminder that I haven’t done that in so long. Too long.

Chapter Six

“You slept with him?” My sister’s voice booms so loudly over my phone that I lower the volume and look around to make sure no one in Bloomington heard her.

“Yes,” I whisper. “It was . . . awesome, but then I went home and went to bed sad and woke up just as sad.”

“I’m sorry.” She’s quieter now. “Maybe it’s a sign? To give him another chance?”

“Or not to.”

“You know he left his job in California?”

“No.” I stop walking right by the evening gowns and frown. “He didn’t say that.”

“He left his job to move back here and fight for you.”

“How do you know this?”