When he finishes, he wipes me clean, something he always maintained throughout our relationship and that I definitely admired, especially when I had my one-night stand that time and wasn’t shown the same affection. We lie in the bed, wrapped in each other’s arms and the plush comforter, in silence as we look at the beautiful city outside.

“It’s so quiet in here,” I whisper after a while.

“Maybe we should get a place with a view like this.”

“Adam.” I sit up and look down at him. “This isn’t happening again.”

“Why not?” He frowns.

“We tried it, it didn’t work, we got a divorce.”

“I was stupid, we were young, and we let our pride get in the way.” He sits up as well, the comforter sliding down his chest. “We can try again.”

“There’s too much baggage.”

“No.”

“We buried a baby, Adam. And then you decided you were done. When I wanted to try more than ever, you said you could never try again.” Unshed tears burn as I recall that time. “Would you try again?”

“I can’t.” He swallows, looking away momentarily. “It hurts too much.”

“I know. I was the one on that delivery table, you know. I was the one who . . .” My voice breaks. “I was the one who had to deliver her, knowing she was already gone. You don’t think that completely messed me up?”

“Of course I know that, and I hate that it tore us apart the way it did instead of bringing us closer. You didn’t have to take down that nursery. You didn’t have to tell every single person we knew that there would be no baby coming home. You didn’t have to talk about it the way I did. I can’t go through that again, Van.”

“Then there’s nothing to talk about.” I swallow, wiping my eyes before my tears have a chance to fall.

“You can’t mean that. We were fine just the two of us. Why would you want to potentially go through that heartache more than once?”

“I don’t know.” I glance at him and meet his eyes. “I truly don’t know, but I want to try again.”

He shuts his eyes and lets out a breath.

“I’m sorry, but this just won’t work. We’re not meant to be.”

“Damn it. Don’t say that. We’re absolutely meant to be.” He reaches for me and sets a hand over mine. “I’m not meant to be with anyone else.”

“If that were true, you’d give me what I wanted.”