Stephen’s mom gave a eulogy about the history of the Butler family. How they had come to the United States on a boat, how they had survived uncertain times over and over and how they were an example of true American resilience, and then the history of their money, all the capital Mr. Butler had inherited and somehow quadrupled over the years. From nothing to something. And Jane snorted a little at the idea that a $400,000 inheritance was nothing. The room smelled like expensive candles and many people who had been drinking for hours. Ayanna wished she could stand up and stretch without being rude. The next eulogy was vague platitudes about a better place and the great Butler legacy to the arts. Ayanna adjusted herself so her pinkie was always brushing Felix’s. It felt rude to tenderly hold hands at the funeral of someone you did not love. No one was crying. It didn’t really feel to Ayanna like anyone had really died. Maybe that was the point, because Mr. Butler had chosen to freeze himself, and maybe almost everyone else believed he was right and would return a hundred, two hundred years later, in a fit and healthy body, and continue another life of making money, betting on racehorses, and drinking expensive tasteless alcohols.

But it felt so profoundly wrong to Ayanna. She thought the point of a service like this was to be surrounded by mutual love for the lost person or to hope the beloved was in some way present and could feel how much they’d mattered in their short time on Earth. All these years, and still she was furious with her mother for not inviting her to Olivia’s memorial. The last time she had spoken to her father, he said Opal had created a shrine to Olivia and told him it helped her hear Olivia’s voice clearer. “It helps her grieve,” he said, “but I don’t think what she’s hearing is your sister.” Ayanna had not heard from her mother in years.

As the service continued, Ayanna thought what she always did in quiet moments: Olivia, I’m here and ready to listen. I’m sorry. There was the sound of several people shushing someone.

The officiant said, “We walk in life to seek meaning and to give meaning. That is God’s will.”