Then, Ayanna reread her dad’s latest email. He had been at a beautiful monastery where no one spoke regularly, let alone spoke English, but they’d fed, clothed, and kept him safe for five days. Each day, three times a day, he did the stations of the cross and focused on the idea that suffering was inevitable, that without suffering, it would be impossible for people to understand how wonderful grace was. The only thing that kept her from writing a scathing email back was for the first time he had written I miss you. She responded back I miss you too.

People kept texting her, asking if she had been the one hit by the bike. Ayanna inspected her wrist where Matthias had touched her; it felt wrong that there was no mark. Felix texted with an offer to bring her dinner.

She put on a sweatshirt and jeans, took a bag and tucked a joint and some acre into it, and left her dorm. Without much contemplation, Ayanna walked to the gate surrounding the woods. There were no spirits and it made the world flatter. She looked around, then hopped over. There wasn’t a headstone or marker for Olivia. She thought if ever there was a time in her life where she had money, one of the first priorities would be to do something good in her sister’s name. Olivia who worked with her at the soup kitchen and pantry, Olivia who had once written an essay that true patriotism was striving for an America that lived up to its best ideals and that meant getting rid of childhood poverty, Olivia who could be such a brat and a snitch but who was also, at the heart of it all, good.

Her father had written in his most recent email: A part of the path is marked with silver seashells, others yellow, some with a sword driven through. Silver Spanish Saint Seashells for the Suffering, a tongue twister prayer. I like them though because they are simple. All shells have mysteries. Your mother and I used to want to go to Prague and walk the Charles Bridge. It’s supposed to be lined with a century’s worth of saints. It protects the city. Now, I think it would be too much to bear.