He took his headphones off and offered them to her. Tina Turner’s voice was sweeping through them, and Ayanna half shut her eyes as she walked behind him, even though she should have been paying attention. The ferocity and freedom of Tina hitting the loud notes made her feel settled. She had planned to show Felix the note cards, to confirm this wasn’t something Jane or Stephen would do. It was the type of paranoid, insecure thought she hated, that these people she was starting to really like were befriending her only because she was lonely and easy to tease. But would he be friends with people who did that? Although, to be fair, there was something about him, maybe it was the fact he was so earnest, or maybe it was because he was a man who cared about making sure other people felt comfortable, that made people behave a little softer around him. There was a bubble Felix created where people gave one another attention, were willing to be a little more vulnerable, and felt comfortable laughing.

Oh, Ayanna thought, this is getting into crush territory.

Almost everyone she had liked in high school was on the mean side of personalities. Sarcastic boys, boys whose only personality after she got to know them was being good at school, boys who read political blogs with the express purpose of wanting to argue with their conservative teachers, boys who said barely anything 90 percent of the time and then, when alone in their car, instead of intensely making out, all they wanted to do was talk about how alone they felt, boys who played their guitar for her and thought playing some dumb, easy song from 1972 was enough to say something meaningful. These things felt like a direct contradiction to why he was so appealing to her—Felix was someone who seemed like he would tell you he loved you easily. Worse to Ayanna, he seemed like the kind of emotionally mature person who would tell you he loved you and be fine with the fact that you might not immediately say it back.

When the song was done, Felix told her about his love for Miss Tina. How in love he was with her voice. How she could even turn “What’s Love Got to Do With It,” a song Miss Tina famously hated, into something so fucking profound. His voice was soft in a way that made when he did swear feel funny and charming. “The power in her,” he said, shaking his head with admiration.