He stops, and I want to tell him that I understand. I mean, not fully, because I’m a boy, and I know I’m a boy, but that doesn’t mean figuring it out wasn’t hard. There were moments when I thought maybe I was just being dramatic, maybe I was just a tomboy who didn’t like wearing dresses. I didn’t have to be a boy, right?

Except that I am.

I set the mop down and sit down on the floor. We aren’t particularly close, but something about being eye level with him seems better right now.

I say, “There were rumors about what happened after you came out. Are they true?”

He stops scrubbing the mirror and turns back to me. “Which ones?”

“The ones that said you tried to kill yourself?”

He sighs, but I don’t really need him to keep talking. Hell, that sigh alone weighs a couple thousand pounds, and I feel like I can see the entire weight of his high school misery reflected in his eyes.

Finally, he says, “Yeah, I did. That’s why my parents pulled me out of school and why we moved across the country. They thought getting away would make me better.”

“Did it?”

He laughs, but he doesn’t answer. I’m not really sure what I was expecting from the conversation, but it’s pretty clear to me that it’s over. I pick up the mop again, and start scrubbing the floors harder than I should. I think part of me is hoping I can erase more than just germs and dirt stains, like maybe the past can be washed away just as easily.

Hey, Becca, I really need to talk to you. Please call me when you get a chance.

Delivered

On the way home from work, Drew texts me asking if I wanna go to the movies, and of course, I say yes. We usually meet at Brian’s apartment before every date because Drew says it’s a better setup for the Diary stories since there are no parents around, but he says he’s bringing his brother this time and asks me to meet him at their place. I agree, copying and pasting the address into the rideshare app.

Drew’s house kind of blows my mind because it’s not at all what I’d expect. There’s a massive, mud-covered truck in the driveway and three American flags in the lawn, and there’s a doormat that says, Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again. Like, I realized he was white, but I never thought his house would be that white.

I’m absolutely certain I got the address right, but I’m still a bit apprehensive as I knock on the front door.