“It’s okay, Brain,” I say, watching as the color returns to his face. It’s been years since I called him that—a little keepsake from when we didn’t have cable and only had old DVDs of ’90s television. Sometimes I wish we could go back to that—me being Pinky because my parents thought I needed pink everything to satisfy their thrill at having a daughter, and Brian being the Brain because I couldn’t figure out how to spell his name.

But honestly, that person feels like a total stranger to me now, and it’s not because they used to wear the color pink, because I still love pink, and anyone who doesn’t is wrong. It’s just that, back then, I was willing to be anything people told me to be. I didn’t mind that I was dying inside because I didn’t know how to live any other way. But how do you learn to breathe, then opt to be suffocated day in and day out?

I’m Noah now, and really, I always have been. It’s not my fault no one believed in Noah until he gave them no other choice.

“Noah,” Brian says, resting his hand on my arm, “I’m sorry. I know I’m not perfect about this whole thing, and I’m really sorry if I make you feel uncomfortable at all.”

I smile, wrapping my arms around him. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re great. I love you.”

He squeezes me to him, and I can almost pretend this is the way we’ve always been—Brian and Noah. It doesn’t matter how I was born or who I thought I was back then. I’m me, and we’re brothers, and there’s nothing in the world that can ever change that.

Step 4: The Consultation (aka The First Date)

It’s where the relationship really begins, the moment the seed is given a chance to grow roots.

Inbox (228)

Anonymous asked: Congratulations, Noah! I’ve never been happier for someone!

Romlover2203 asked: You’re always giving, and now you get to receive! So happy for you!

Majorfanboi15 asked: Did you get your neighbor to pose in that pic? I call fake.

I wake up the next morning to find that my post has, in fact, gone viral. It’s not quite the top-of-the-world, larger-than-life, getting-a-free-cookie-at-Publix feeling I was hoping for, but it is kind of cool. I’ve got an inbox full of people congratulating me on finding a boyfriend, and a whole inbox of hate that I skim over and delete. I’ll get to the positive messages later. Gotta show up for the fans.

I check my follower count and find it’s stabilized a bit. It’s not quite back up to the original numbers, but it’s a little higher than when I went to bed last night.