Back Loudermilk
Chapters (60)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Personae
  4. I: Early Days
  5. One. Control
  6. Two. Doubt
  7. Three. Fate
  8. Four. Same
  9. Five. Fine Arts
  10. Six. In Loco Parentis
  11. Seven. Settling
  12. Eight. Neighbors
  13. Nine. Prospects
  14. Ten. The Lucky
  15. Eleven. Instruction
  16. Twelve. Same
  17. Thirteen. This Is a Pipe
  18. Fourteen. This Is Not a Pipe
  19. Fifteen. The Reason
  20. Sixteen. That Person
  21. Seventeen. Predictably
  22. II: Writing Teacher
  23. Eighteen. Early Poems
  24. Nineteen. Motivation
  25. Twenty. Allegory
  26. Twenty-One. Grief
  27. Twenty-Two. A Portrait
  28. Twenty-Three. Veils
  29. Twenty-Four. Soft Power
  30. Twenty-Five. Lists
  31. Twenty-Six. A Break
  32. Twenty-Seven. Elsewhere
  33. Twenty-Eight. Custom
  34. Twenty-Nine. Parity
  35. Thirty. Fortune
  36. III: Volta
  37. Thirty-One. Images
  38. Thirty-Two. A Very Interesting Young Man
  39. Thirty-Three. Letters
  40. Thirty-Four. We Prefer to See Ourselves Living
  41. Thirty-Five. Love
  42. Thirty-Six. The Iceberg
  43. IV: Your Best Reader
  44. Thirty-Seven. A Novelist
  45. Thirty-Eight. In Advance of the Broken Arm
  46. Thirty-Nine. Their Penultimate Encounter
  47. Forty. Détente
  48. Forty-One. Worlds
  49. Forty-Two. Recognition
  50. Forty-Three. Persistence
  51. Forty-Four. And Then
  52. Forty-Five. Mingling
  53. Forty-Six. You
  54. Forty-Seven. Persona
  55. Forty-Eight. Est et Non
  56. Forty-Nine. The Author
  57. Epilogue
  58. Afterword: The Libertine
  59. Acknowledgments
  60. About the Authors

The fifth session begins in the midst of the fourth. Harry is not sure what Loudermilk did with the recorder, whether the cut is intentional. Where the fourth leaves off, you can tell Hillary is about to take the floor. Harry wonders if Loudermilk interrupts Hillary on purpose, if he stops the tape because he does not want Harry to know what Hillary is about to say. Or maybe it’s that Hillary is so predictable: You have to assume he’s about to defend Chelsea’s exploration of her grandma’s crawl space, even if he’ll do so through semi-gritted teeth. He has to do this, because this is the basis of Hillary’s “poetics,” if Harry has that term right. Hillary has certain values, has shown himself over time to be an adherent of certain schools (Harry is aware, due to his poetic research), and now Hillary is obliged to set the table such that only those who can eat of the particular meat on special shall be served, recognized. It is a competition—the thing of poetry—if not an all-out war. If Hillary has an actual job—other than continuing to breathe and sit upright in his chair and utter whatever unfiltered industry juice courses into his cranium—it is to continue to purvey and promote a brand of sentimentality, a sentimentality branded and also promoted by certain institutional-poet ancestors of Hillary’s, like the renowned regionalist Timothy Flower and, previous to Flower, the celebrated formalist Jan Batman. Hillary is a straw man, a vacant effigy, not just because he is an alcoholic whose second marriage is about to dehisce, but because it is his job, quite literally, to be an alcoholic whose second marriage is about to dehisce, because he is exactly—and not one iota more or one iota less than—who he is paid to be. If he were a better teacher, or even a slightly better human being, he would surely have been fired from this position long ago.

Never let it be said, Harry should tell someone, that he, Harry Rego, pulls any punches. He may be trapped inside this pathetic physique, gagged by his own ungainly voice, but never let it be said that Harry Rego ignores the world around him. Harry’s eye is limpid, unimpeded by the distorting influence of a viable body or social life. Harry’s mind can, to some extent, be thrown from the corpse it inhabits, and this is why he is of such extraordinary use to Loudermilk, who is, in truth, disadvantaged since sapped by the presence of his own magnificent frame in the world. Anyone who really knows Loudermilk, as Harry knows him, has to feel a certain pity for the guy. It’s a mystery how Loudermilk finds the necessary blood and/or synapses to think at all, given the other needs of his physical form.