Back Loudermilk
Chapters (60)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Personae
  4. I: Early Days
  5. One. Control
  6. Two. Doubt
  7. Three. Fate
  8. Four. Same
  9. Five. Fine Arts
  10. Six. In Loco Parentis
  11. Seven. Settling
  12. Eight. Neighbors
  13. Nine. Prospects
  14. Ten. The Lucky
  15. Eleven. Instruction
  16. Twelve. Same
  17. Thirteen. This Is a Pipe
  18. Fourteen. This Is Not a Pipe
  19. Fifteen. The Reason
  20. Sixteen. That Person
  21. Seventeen. Predictably
  22. II: Writing Teacher
  23. Eighteen. Early Poems
  24. Nineteen. Motivation
  25. Twenty. Allegory
  26. Twenty-One. Grief
  27. Twenty-Two. A Portrait
  28. Twenty-Three. Veils
  29. Twenty-Four. Soft Power
  30. Twenty-Five. Lists
  31. Twenty-Six. A Break
  32. Twenty-Seven. Elsewhere
  33. Twenty-Eight. Custom
  34. Twenty-Nine. Parity
  35. Thirty. Fortune
  36. III: Volta
  37. Thirty-One. Images
  38. Thirty-Two. A Very Interesting Young Man
  39. Thirty-Three. Letters
  40. Thirty-Four. We Prefer to See Ourselves Living
  41. Thirty-Five. Love
  42. Thirty-Six. The Iceberg
  43. IV: Your Best Reader
  44. Thirty-Seven. A Novelist
  45. Thirty-Eight. In Advance of the Broken Arm
  46. Thirty-Nine. Their Penultimate Encounter
  47. Forty. Détente
  48. Forty-One. Worlds
  49. Forty-Two. Recognition
  50. Forty-Three. Persistence
  51. Forty-Four. And Then
  52. Forty-Five. Mingling
  53. Forty-Six. You
  54. Forty-Seven. Persona
  55. Forty-Eight. Est et Non
  56. Forty-Nine. The Author
  57. Epilogue
  58. Afterword: The Libertine
  59. Acknowledgments
  60. About the Authors

On another occasion, a well-meaning scholar of comparative literature had approached her in Harvard’s Barker Center and below a chandelier of bleached antlers introduced himself in order to express his affection for her father’s verses and critical essays. This one was a floating worm, a scoundrel too distracted by his tenure file to recognize that he was effectively robbing Clare of her dream, which was to be anyone she pleased, rather than the daughter of an under-read poet whose crowning achievement was, in the early 1990s, to have been profiled in the New Yorker.

Academics like this obsequious comparatist were blissfully unaware of their lack of tact. They approached her as if she were an unusual nocturnal amphibian, glowing bluely at the edge of a poststructuralist lagoon. They were untroubled by the obvious signal of Clare’s surname, which was of course her mother’s, and which had been permitted to stand as a way of indicating her father’s lack of participation in her early—and, then, her increasingly less early—existence. But Clare had begun to be known for her own fiction in her own sophomoric circles, among her friends, and when this began to occur more and more it was by audiences who did not read poetry and who had little French and who resembled Clare herself, linguistically at least, and who were therefore unlikely to be aware of her father’s biography, much less his literary career, such as, it had to be said, it was.

These, then, were the terms on which Clare had, college diploma and acceptance into the Seminars firmly in her grasp, deigned, at the advanced age of twenty-two, to make her estival pilgrimage to an apartment in northern Paris so that she and her dad could take tea nearby and drive to a friend’s country estate, where, Clare’s father maintained, there was a magnificent library including several modernist first editions which would assuredly be of interest, even to his benighted offspring.