“Well, Lisbeth is involved with school and not speaking to me . . . but I hope, every day, for it to get better. I keep on tryin’. I see the boys as much as I did when I lived at home. They stay with me on the weekends and”—he lifted her chin with his finger to make her look up at him—“and I miss you.”

“Oh . . . oh.”

“I’ve wanted to tell you so many things—like how I’d always blamed you, then Eliza, and now . . . well, now I just blame myself. I’m the only reason we’re not together.” He was whispering now. “I used it all as an excuse not to do what I wanted, needed to do. But, Amy, knowing all this doesn’t stop the love.”

She covered her face with both hands.

“The hell of it is that, of all the parts of you that I love, one of them is your devotion for your family. And that same quality in you is what keeps you from me. But I need to know that you’re gonna be okay . . . that you are okay.”

She looked down to the leaf-strewn ground, shifted her feet. “It’s been so hard.”

“What we were—no, what we have, doesn’t that ever just come . . . crashing in?”

“Yes . . . once in a while, in a wave or a flash, and I try to let it pass and continue on my way . . . home.”

“For me, nothing about us passes.”

“Don’t say that. I can’t . . . fix that.”

“I know you can’t.”

She reached out her hand to him, then pulled it away. “I have to . . .” She motioned toward her class.

“I know.”

“Please be okay,” she said.

“I’m trying.” He placed his fist over his chest. “You live here, Amy.”

She began to turn away, then looked back at him, hugged him. He folded her in his arms and grasped the back of her neck.

“God, I love you, Amy.”

She touched his cheek, turned, then walked toward her students. She placed her hand over the space between her breast and stomach: the resting place of Nick and all he seemed to occupy within her, and told herself that he was the sand pattern left by the wave, not the wave itself.

She turned to look at him one more time, backlit against the sun. But he was gone—only a shiver of disturbed air remained.

Conversation Guide

CONVERSATION GUIDE

This Conversation Guide is intended to enrich the individual reading experience, as well as encourage us to explore these topics together—because books, and life, are meant for sharing.

A CONVERSATION WITH PATTI CALLAHAN HENRY

Q. What inspired you to write this novel?