“I don’t know. That’s what I’m telling you now—it was something horrible of me—not you. I was afraid to tell you I felt ignored or extraneous, and I was scared to talk about how seeing Nick made me feel. It was horrible, and I wanted to be who you wanted me to be. And yes, I was afraid you wouldn’t hear me anyway.”

“You could have tried.”

“I know.” She dropped her face in her hands. “I know. I’m a coward.”

“No, you’re not that at all.”

For a second she expected his touch. Yet it did not come.

“These”—he swept his hand across the room—“are just my things.”

She nodded.

“I’m here for all of us—for the family.”

“You aren’t . . . here for me?” she asked.

“Yes and no. I love you.” He exhaled a shaky breath. “I want . . . this. All of this. But these are just things. I’m still not sure how much of me is here yet.”

She nodded again, bereft of any more explanations or arguments. She closed her eyes and listened to his familiar footsteps on the uneven pine floors as he walked out of their bedroom. When he was gone, she stood and walked to the dresser, ran her hands across his pocket change and pens, and wept.

Chapter Thirty-three

Chapter Thirty-three

Nick threw the trawler’s rope to Revvy on the dock and smiled. “Man, I don’t remember the last time I felt this good.”

“I don’t know how. Damn, you haven’t slept since we started this company six months ago. I don’t know what you’re runnin’ on—but I wish I had some.”

“Lost time, buddy, lost time. And you don’t want any of that.”

Revvy wrapped the rope around the cleat and looked up. “No, thank you. I’ll just keep the time I’ve got.”

Nick stood and stretched his back, leaned into the wind. “I smell rain.”

Revvy lifted his head. “Yeah, it’s in the air. Not many tourists want to head to the islands in the rain.”

“Good. We can catch up on the research project.” Nick jumped onto the dock. “I’m out of here.”

“Where you headed? Wanna grab some dinner?”

Nick smiled; he’d worn this same goofy grin since the day he and Revvy had hung up the pine etched sign LOWRY LOWCOUNTRY and underneath in smaller letters: RESEARCH, EDUCATION AND WILDLIFE PRESERVATION. Even after he knew what to do, it still had taken months to get the business running and the lab set up.

“No, man, I’m headed back to the lab—wanna check on the dropwort experiment.”

“Take a break, Nick.”

“Not now, Rev. Not now.”