I hated it, rejected it. I wanted nothing to do with that outlook, that moral posturing. I’d struggled with it like everyone else. The world was sure to always remind me I didn’t fit. If I hooked up with a girl, I was straight, but if I dated a guy, I was gay. If I wanted sex to be rough, I was violent. If I wanted to choose my own family and build relationships in my own way, I was perverted. If I wanted to defend myself, to stand up to those who would harm me, I was dangerous.

Reject the boxes you’re offered and people will keep trying to shove you into them. They’ll put their labels on you and demand you adhere to them, and then if you don’t, it becomes your own damn fault that life is difficult.

That was where Jess and I differed. I’d given up on trying to fit in a long time ago and she was still clinging to the dream of societal acceptance.

Jason’s room was at the very end of the hallway. I opened the door and motioned her inside, watching as she stepped in and looked around. His bed was small, but he rarely slept in it, shoved into the corner on the right. His desk and computer took up the rest of the space, three wide-screen monitors stretching from one side of his desk all the way to the other. His window was blocked out with a heavy curtain. Blue LED strips in the corners and along the ceiling bathed the room in a neon glow.

Jess turned to face me, her lips pressed tightly together. The neon made her hair appear almost white, glowing ethereally.

“The bathroom is right next door,” I said. “The dogs won’t bother you. They stay downstairs.”

She nodded in understanding, swallowing hard. I couldn’t blame her for ghosting, or for letting down her guard with me for one night and then retreating the moment the sun rose. Boxes were safe and easy. Leave the shelter of the box and the world becomes significantly less friendly.

She was probably wiser for trying to fit in. She was following the rules the world had handed her, shitty as they were.

I closed the gap between us. She looked away at first, but slowly her gaze came up to meet mine. I caressed my fingers over her cheek, tucking her blonde hair back over her shoulder. Part of me still felt so angry, fury pulsing in my chest. But it was impossible to look at her without my heart softening. I was weak as hell for this woman. She could stab me in the heart and I’d probably still forgive her.

“So…you and Lucas?” she said, curiosity in her uncertain gaze.