She wasn’t as different from me as I’d thought. Maybe that was why she made me feel this way, as if I wanted to cling to her and push her away at the same time.

“I don’t think she could love me,” I said, and Manson scoffed.

“If that’s what you think, then I wish you could see how she looks at you,” he said. “You’re both too damn prideful.”

“It’s not worth dwelling on,” I said, taking the cigarette when he held it out. “We won’t have her around for much longer.”

I didn’t like the thought at all. In fact, I hated the idea of her disappearing from our lives again so much that it made my fingers shake with anger. She needed to stay and give us a chance to figure this shit out.

“Do you remember what I used to tell you?” Manson said. “When we were teenagers and we’d drive out here to talk about shit…you’d tell me you didn’t want to see another day…”

I remembered that, of course I did. I remembered the despair I felt, the pain we shared, how hopeless I’d been.

“If you can get through the night, you’ll see the sun again,” I said, repeating the words he’d told me back then. “Keep chasing the next sunrise.” I closed my eyes as I exhaled. “The night feels really fucking dark, Manson, but I’m still chasing sunrises.”

He squeezed my arm, leaning his head over to press against mine. “Yeah. Shit has gotten a little darker lately than I’d like.”

A few minutes passed in silence before he said, “We need to get out of town for a few days. Go somewhere else, give ourselves a break. Give my a dad a chance to fuck off.”

“Yeah? I could go for that. Vincent’s parents could watch the dogs.” I couldn’t remember the last time we’d taken a vacation, even a small one. It felt like we’d moved into that big house and had been working ourselves to the bone every day since. “What about Jess? It feels weird to leave her.”

“We won’t leave her,” he said, his tone thoughtful as his lips curved into a smile. “I’ve got plans for her.”

“I love it when you grin like that,” I said. That sadist’s smile on his face meant only trouble, and I was ready for it. “What’s the plan?”

“She told me about her ultimate fantasy,” he said, scratching his thumb over his chin. “She talked about how she wants to be stolen away, made to submit, to have all her worries and cares disappear. I say we make that fantasy come true.”