ex-boyfriend said things about his ‘boner,’ referencing a song, then said ‘it’s really sick when guys talk about boners like that. boners are gross. like, they actually talk about them like.’ i said ‘yeah it’s weird that people…boners…they talk about them like that. you don’t have a boner.’ one of us said something about going to the library. he said ‘yeah but like, jeopardy is going to be on at seven and…’ and shrugged. i said ‘yeah. jeopardy. let’s not go.’ i tugged his penis hard. he laughed. i said ‘look out, i’m tugging.’ he was laughing. i said ‘i’m going to pull it off. look out.’ he said ‘remember when jordan earnestly tried to rip his dick off?’ i said ‘yeah that was good.’ he left the room, saying something about me and nicolas cage and jordan ripping his ‘dick…off’ like how nicolas cage says ‘i want to take his face…off’ in ‘face/off.’

5:45PM: ex-boyfriend said ‘here peg, let me top you off all the way,’ filling my mug with coffee that almost started spilling, ‘now you’ll have to lap at it.’ i smiled and said ‘lapping’ or something. he said ‘i’m at the point in my formspring where someone says they had sex with my one true love.’ he is reading his old formspring in the bedroom, has been since i woke.

5:49PM: from the bedroom, ex-boyfriend said ‘peg, i cut the cat’s whisker’s off.’ i said ‘no! on accident?’ he said ‘yeah. just. one on the right, it like, fell off.’ i said ‘that’s okay, one time when i was little i cut them all off on purpose. my cat couldn’t walk around.’ he kind of laughed and said ‘you’re going to have to keep shirley in the little room.’ pictured closet-like room at dad’s apartment, where i’ll stay with cats april 1st until i know where i’ll live next. i said ‘no, that won’t happen, she will roam free. no matter what she will roam free.’

6:47PM: entered bedroom and propped myself against ex-boyfriend’s legs. he was drinking and listening to ‘fishkind,’ a band he was in a few years ago, named after david fishkind. i said something about my liveblog and he made a face and put his hand through my hair but it got stuck. he pulled and i made a yelping noise. he said ‘oh, come on.’ seemed drunk. his hand returned to the same spot and he said ‘let’s just be nice.’ i said ‘yeah i want to be nice, you gotta stop pulling my hair though.’ he made a face. i smiled. i felt bad when i was typing in the other room. unsure if i felt worse in the bedroom.