INTERESTING….

during this time he also accidentally said my name. forget how. he gave me five quarters. earlier i had eaten 1mg xanax and he’d eaten a benadryl but we still felt awake. i said ‘let’s split an ambien.’ then…hm. we ended up eating one ambien each, total, i think.

9:[something]-10:[something]AM: woke lazily. had sex. good. showered. [omitted] was going to be late. i said i wanted to sleep a little more then go to the library and he gave me keys and said i could stay as long as i wanted, then go back to rockaway park, or then meet up after work to watch game seven somewhere. i said ‘i’ll sleep and go to the library to work and hang around here until you get back.’

10:46am: drove [omitted] to the Q train. I hit a pothole and my car shook then a few seconds later [omitted] almost opened his door on man on a bike who said ‘wake the fuck up man.’ Parked two blocks from his place. Walking to his apartment to sleep a little more, then library. It’s nice outside. I am happy.

FIRST FAVORITE THING I’VE SEEN TODAY:

[omitted]’s face coming out of his white button-down shirt, standing still, watching the bike man ride away in the distance, face looking indignant but behind that something sweet and childlike and almost disappointed…unconsciously displaying some core level of emotion, like ‘this must’ve happened before: the guy who yelled because of something i did and then he got away’…anger and ultimate resignation…there is a mouse in ‘the Secret of NIMH’ who makes this face. Big time endeared to him at that moment.

2:00pm: woke but was like nah.

3:57pm: woke. Want to get green juice and coffee and go to library. Read Chelsea text from last night and RSVP-ed to two google calendar events she made for our hangouts this week. Warm feelings about Chelsea, making the Google events. Chelsea. I miss Chelsea. Looked at pictures of her (ex?) boyfriend on Facebook to make sure he wasn’t dating anyone else because I’d rage against them…rage against dating anyone but Chelsea…

4:41pm: ate 60mg vyvanse. Bought large kale/spinach/cucumber/apple/ginger juice from juice place across the street. Jamaican music was playing. Walked to library and remembered wanting an energy/coffee thing. Walked to deli.

SECOND FAVORITE THING I’VE SEEN TODAY:

older girl with black curly hair and two younger girls kicked a ball. man in neon orange ‘jogging gear’ neared them. the older girl kicked the ball into the man and he kept running. she looked at me with this dropped-jaw horror movie face and said ‘oh my god’ and i smiled and almost winked at her…wanted my smile to convey ‘it’s all good babydoll. you did good.’ a family of four (two little boys, dog, dad, mom) walked the same path as the jogging man, opposite me. the mom seemed to see the entire thing and smiled at me the way i smiled at the girl.