1:48AM: looked at clock.

2:11AM: fiev beers two pizzasloices

2:57AM: brushed teeth turned off all but rainbow lights has been 40 or something hours since i slept

3:13AM: UTI feeling taped cabinet doors shut to stop alvie from trying to open.

12:00PM: woke, ate chocolate thing, gray sky, going back to sleep.

3:19PM: woke from what felt like three-day long dream. featured sex. bunk beds. race track/locker room. ate more of the chocolate thing. it’s almost gone. shirley is kneading next to me, running her motor (purring) hard.

4:18PM: cleaned cats’ water device.

4:46PM: ate bonsai dwarf pizza. typing comments on tao’s flickr photostream via ‘it’s always nice to see someone has commented.’

5:00PM: do not foresee leaving apartment today.

7:03PM: commissioned tao to make a version of ‘fucked tuna’ art, did other internet things, fed cats, read ‘slapstick.’ thinking of today as ‘getting ready’ for navy tomorrow.

7:27PM: zachary texted ‘Is you in ny and have a set of hump’s keys with you’ i texted ‘Yeah/yeah.’ don’t want to drive or shower.

7:41PM: mom is visiting tuesday for two days. tomorrow i’ll go to the navy and get car inspected. then it’ll be tuesday and mom and i will go out on the town. good two days coming up.

9:24PM: ate an orange.

MAY 20, 2013

1:28AM: have been reading ‘slapstick.’

1:37AM: zachary, then a number i didn’t recognize called. called zachary back. he’s at a ramada inn in queens with stephen. at some point i said ‘you guys should just come here’ and he said ‘i wouldn’t do that.’ he put stephen on the phone. i said ‘mo rocca inn’ or ‘ramada mo rocca.’ stephen said they ate burger king and drank dom perignon with his parents. told him about finding the chartreuse on the street and he knew, zachary had forwarded him my email. i said i couldn’t open the bottle. he said he could open it. zachary was on the phone again. he said ‘so you got your macbook pro,’ then an address, then ‘that’s how it’s like in queens, it’s like [number] dash [something].’ typed addresses in google maps. he said ‘if it’s going to be more than twenty minutes i mean, don’t do it.’ directions loaded. i said ‘google says thirty minutes,’ ‘and also my car is ten blocks away,’ ‘and also i’d like to shower before.’ he said ‘no you can shower after i do stuff to you.’ looked in mirror. pulled elastic ponytail holder and watched greasy hair fall to shoulders. thought ‘he likes it better ‘down.”

asked if he was drunk and he said ‘am i drunk? are you talking to me?’ he asked if i was on birth control and i said ‘yes’ and he said ‘well definitely come over.’ i said ‘i don’t want to do it with stephen in the room’ and he said ‘stephen needs to get ice.’ i said i would come.