11:10–11:59pm: emailed apartment committee per request of Colin, to inform them Colin had asked me to ask them to call me and I didn’t know why (annoyed to be doing this). Mom said eggs were ready. Ate 1mg Xanax. Took eggs to mom’s room to eat while we watched Mary Tyler Moore. When the theme song said ‘who can turn the world on with her smile? Who can take a nothing day and make it seem worthwhile?’ I said ‘Mary actually doesn’t know the answers to those questions, she’s actually wondering those very things.’ Mom laughed and said ‘she’s gonna make it after all. You’re going to make it after all, honey.’ felt a little weird. The episode seemed ‘slow,’ felt aware of my chewing noises and fork motions/toast handling. A lot of pepper came out at once and I tried to blend it by rubbing eggs with my finger. Mom was laughing weakly along with the laugh track but knew she probably didn’t think it was funny. I said ‘how do you feel?’ she said ‘I’m a little worried the food doesn’t taste good.’ surprised. I said ‘no its great, it’s perfect, thank you for making it.’ Agreed the episode wasn’t funny or interesting. Switched to an episode of Homeland.

APRIL 25, 2013

12:00–1:[unknown]am: mom asked about what episode I wanted to watch, if I wanted to put in another Mary Tyler Moore instead, what I remember about where we left off with Homeland, what my preferences were. I said ‘I don’t know, I have no preferences, my preference is to not answer questions,’ grinning a little. She said ‘okay okay, I know, you don’t want questions. Let’s just pick up where we left off, I know you fell asleep, [described plot of episode I fell asleep during], I’ll put on the next one.’

Brody suspiciously clutched a laptop-sized package. I said ‘yes, now I have my fish all to myself’ in Brody’s voice and mom laughed hard. I said ‘no one can know about my delicious fish dish’ as Brody unwrapped the package, a bomb, and strapped it to his body, enjoying making mom laugh and laughing too.

6:03am: woke to strange breathing noise. Thought it was me. Opened eyes and saw I was in mom’s bed and she was sleeping to my left. Remembered falling asleep here. Walked to kitchen and ate small piece of whole foods cherry pie, a graham cracker/chocolate ‘digestive biscuit’ cookie, and drank a glass of milk. Went to my room and got under covers. Set alarm for 10:00am. Feeling ‘cozy’ and peaceful.