5:31AM: starting to hear birds.

5:45AM: staring…

6:09AM: would be crazy to read this as a 16th century italian farmer.

6:12AM: noticed i haven’t been making myself laugh as much as i was in the beginning.

6:28AM: plugged in computer charger in bedroom. tried to discern source of air loss in mattress. felt around for leaks and duct taped most of a corner. as i was doing it i thought about writing about it in a more detailed way, like, going into a lydia davis thing. like the story about the hurricane that’s actually about her writing the story about the hurricane but sometimes it’s hard to tell. wish it had been easier to tell. felt averse to doing the lydia davis thing, and kind of averse to all fiction.

6:37AM: responded to zachary gchat from 10PM. dad is making a wide variety of loud snoring sounds. the variety is astounding. he just went ‘phew, shhhhphew!’ alvie meowing again. frightfest.

6:42AM: one of alvie’s traveling bouts of sorrow ended in bedroom doorway. coaxed him onto mattress, where he seems tentatively/shamefully obsessed with smelling the corner where his head got stuck. pictured alvie watching my back re-tape the mattress a few minutes ago. seems lynchian, from his perspective.

6:44AM: alvie is kneading blankets close to my side.

6:46AM: alvie stopped kneading abruptly to smell the corner-area, paw at an area on the mattress which startled him, then jump off the bed.

6:52AM: dreaded sounds of a waking dad. i don’t like talking to recently-awake people unless i’m one of them.

6:54AM: dad walked to bathroom, said ‘you’re still awake, how’s it going,’ i said ‘good,’ he said ‘you like what you’re doing,’ i said ‘yup,’ he used bath room, he went to kitchen, passed my room, waved, said ‘see you in a while,’ i waved and said ‘see you in a while.’

7:04AM: dad has elaborated on his waking sounds. at least he elaborated. also he didn’t ever say he was going to elaborate, he just did it. smells like coffee. he stood in doorway and said there were some guys coming at 8 to fix a leaky pipe. i asked if he would be here and he said yes. i said ‘oh that’s fine, i don’t care, i mean. whoever, you know, i don’t care.’ looked up from screen, to his face displaying an expression of ‘ancient, grim, deeply-felt concern.’

7:10AM: keep thinking ‘i need glasses.’ also i don’t like that this is called ‘liveblog’ and that i keep having to say ‘liveblog.’ i want to call it ‘thing.’ or ‘something.’ or ‘thing i feel equally pressured to refer to as ‘thing’ and ‘liveblog’ and to a lesser degree, ‘something.” or ‘jebadoh.’ or ‘jebadoh’s complaint.’ does anyone remember ‘jebadoh?’ mom’s asswiper thing? those were the days. anyone still reading? embarrassed, a little. gotta keep going though. keeping going forever. i will not be able to do this forever. maybe. maybe calling it ‘i will not be able to do this forever’ would reverse-motivate me to do it forever. oh my god. the amount of times i think/try things like this. the ‘what neurotic thing can i do to motivate myself’ things. didn’t realize it happened so often. seems like so often.