“More importantly, to love someone.” Xiaokai propped his head up on one hand and studied Weiran like he was trying to memorize him. “What does it feel like? Does it feel like you can’t live without him—like he’s food or something? Does it feel like he’s an irreplaceable part of your life? Do you feel like you’re dying if you’re not around him? Would you give up anything and everything for him?”

“I’m not answering any of that.”

“Please? Come on, indulge me. Or, if you prefer, we can spend our time doing what I first suggested.” The smile on his face could only be described as ‘devilish’. “I’d be satisfied with some heavy petting, just as long as one of us gets off on it.”

“Fine, fine. Just…shut up.” Weiran poured himself some tea and gulped it down as a distraction. Then he poured another cup. “I wouldn’t give up anything and everything for him, because taking down the List is the most important thing to me, but I’d give up mostly everything else. I don’t feel like I’m dying if I’m not around him, but I do feel it in my chest, like there’s a hole or something. Or like there’s something missing. My life feels better when he’s around. It feels like it’s easier to breathe when I’m looking at him or talking to him. Happy?”

“Not yet.” Xiaokai, still with that devilish smile, reached out and caught Weiran’s cup before he could take another swallow. “Would you love him no matter what he did?”

“What is that supposed to mean? Like, would I love him if he was like you?”

Xiaokai’s smile twitched. “Or something similar.”

“I think so. Yes. I don’t think there’s a lot he could do that could get me to stop loving him.” He paused, shrugged, snatched the cup out of Xiaokai’s reach. “Not that he’d ever be like you. You’re in a league all of your own.”

“Not all on my own.”

“Definitely a different league from Xingyu.”

“Oh, no one was doubting that.” He made a grab for Weiran’s cup again, and Weiran swatted him.

“Get your own cup.”

“Aren’t you supposed to pour it for me?”

“This isn’t a damn tea ceremony.”

“It could be. But that wasn’t what I was asking for, anyway. I just wanted some general hospitality.”

“Get your own cup.”

“Haven’t you ever served people before? I can show you how, you know.”

“Sun Yue taught you that too?”

“Of course she did. Some of them like feeling like they’re in a hostess bar without having to actually go to a hostess bar, and I have to be able to give it to them. Are you sure you don’t want a blowjob?”