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Back Lie Beside Me Save as PDF
Chapters (49)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. PENGUIN BOOKS
  4. Dedication
  5. Prologue
  6. 1
  7. 2
  8. 3
  9. 4
  10. 5
  11. 6
  12. 7
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. 10
  16. 11
  17. 12
  18. 13
  19. 14
  20. 15
  21. 16
  22. 17
  23. 18
  24. 19
  25. 20
  26. 21
  27. 22
  28. 23
  29. 24
  30. 25
  31. 26
  32. 27
  33. 28
  34. 29
  35. 30
  36. 31
  37. 32
  38. 33
  39. 34
  40. 35
  41. 36
  42. 37
  43. 38
  44. 39
  45. 40
  46. Acknowledgements
  47. Read More
  48. Prologue
  49. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

And I don’t know why I didn’t wake up at that point, because that’s what should have happened. I should have woken up when I fell and he’d got me, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. I could only lie there, and feel him on top of me. Then he was pressing something sharp into my back, further and further, until I knew I was dying.

I had to wake up, because if I didn’t, I would die in that dream. I knew that. I would die for real.

And somehow I dragged myself back. I woke up.

I’m glad I’d been left on my own for a while. It took me a long time to stop crying. I could still feel that pain in my back, and I remembered suddenly that it had stung when I showered that morning, along with all the other grazes I couldn’t identify. So I stumbled to the reflective glass at the side of the interview room, feeling like I might be sick. I pulled my top up a few inches and turned my back, craning my head to see my reflection.

And there it was, on my back, right where I’d felt it in the dream. A scab where a cut had been, and around it dark, purplish bruising.

I felt like I was falling.

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17

The conversation with Issa was, from Hanson’s perspective, hard going. He had sobbed his way through an angry, hurt, grief-filled account of Alex’s past infidelity, while she and the DCI had begun to shiver in the unheated studio.

‘She was one of his clients,’ he told them. ‘The daughter of a baronet who’d grown up in all-girls’ schools riding ponies. She was a Plaskitt family sort of person, and it felt like – like the worst kind of betrayal. I couldn’t believe that was the kind of woman he would go for.’

‘Was Alex bisexual?’ the DCI asked.

Issa had nodded. ‘Essentially yes. But he told me he’d only ever fallen hard for men. Just me and a boyfriend at school. It would have been easier for him to have married a woman, and I know it got to him sometimes. If he’d just decided on a nice young girl, it would have meant reconciliation with his parents. Grandkids for them to dote on. Seeing his sister more often. Mummy and Daddy would have approved and come to visit, and probably bought them a nice big house. Who knows?’ He made a lunge for a drawer of the desk, and after some rifling pulled out a packet of tissues. He blew his nose into one, before saying, ‘I knew that part of him was there, and it drove me mad. He wasn’t the one whose family hasn’t spoken to him in eight years. He wasn’t told he was an abomination.’