There was the other thing you said, too. About how worried you’d been that I couldn’t cope with a child. How stupid you’d been, in fact, because I’d just coped with something a lot harder, and come through it just fine. You said you should have seen that capacity in me before, but in fairness to you, Niall, I never truly saw it, either. It was hidden from both of us.

Perhaps the strangest thing of all is suddenly thinking we might have a future again. And actually wanting us to have one. It’s still only a might, of course. There’s a lot of shit that the two of us have to deal with. Two probable prosecutions and potential jail time in each direction, though Patrick says Daniella’s working incredibly hard on a plea deal for you.

We also have a lot to work through and explain and apologise or get angry for. Or to just … forgive. But it feels like we might get to build this again, on solid foundations. That maybe, just maybe, if we fight hard enough for it, we might end up the family I’ve always wanted us to be.

And I want to tell you that I’m looking forward to the fight.

Acknowledgements

A book is created by so many people. It is never, ever just one author sitting alone and writing.

Felicity Blunt is, was, and always will be the reason that this book happened at all. My wonderful human dynamo of an agent. You rock in every possible way.

Joel Richardson was the one who ran with my sudden change of idea for this book, and helped me turn the idea into a real, wonderful reality. The very best of editors, one of the nicest people on the planet, and a huge amount of fun to work with.

Grace Long was my fabulous second pair of eyes, and turned in an unbelievably excellent set of notes to help me through that significant last draft. Also, a constant support and organisational demon. Huge thanks.

To the fabulous cover design team at Penguin Michael Joseph, you have surpassed yourselves once again. I’ve been so lucky to have such beautiful covers on all my books, and I know just how important they are.

To the wonderful Penguin reps, who are the reason my books end up on any shelves at all. I am so fortunate to have your faith in what I write, and for that to turn into the amazing reality of seeing it in countless shops all over the country.

To Jen Breslin and Ella Watkins, who are just the most amazing publicity and marketing team. The thought, imagination, and constant determination to support have been unbelievable. Also, your patience with my constant questions and ideas. You are fabulous.