I drank more than I’ve ever drunk before. I started early on, with April. I had never valued more her freedom to sack off work and drink whenever she felt like it. And although I didn’t tell her why I was so determined to get shit-faced, she drank with me through the afternoon anyway, and managed to make me laugh a few times in spite of everything.

I kept going once we all met up for cocktails. While you hunkered over your phone at the bar instead of mingling with my friends, I drank. I waited for Drunk Louise – her – to take over so I didn’t have to feel. But that happy-go-lucky, irresponsible version of myself somehow stayed away, no matter how hard I chased. It was the first time she’d let me down.

So I kept chasing her. I chased Drunk Louise so hard that I eventually vomited into the toilet for twenty minutes.

When I emerged afterwards, stumbling and probably smelling of vomit, you looked horrified. Appalled. Like you were wondering what you’d been thinking. I wasn’t the wonderful, fun Drunk Louise: I was a mess. I was so ashamed, and so very much aware that April was now watching, too.

I honestly thought I’d lost both of you.

But then my best friend took my hand, and turned to face you. ‘What the hell are you doing, Niall?’

You looked genuinely taken aback. ‘Me?’

‘Yeah, you,’ she said. ‘You have a girlfriend you don’t deserve. She’s gorgeous and talented and smart. And on her birthday you’ve been standing at the bar and messaging your ex-wife. I’m not surprised she wanted to get blind drunk. I’d have done the same, only I would have dumped your lousy ass first.’

For a moment you just stood there looking at her with your mouth slightly open. And then you looked away, gathering together what I fully expected to be anger. I thought you were going to tell us both to get lost.

But when you turned back again, it was as if something had given way in you instead. You looked so guilty, and so sad. I think that expression was what saved us just then. What let us carry on.

‘I’m – I’m really sorry, Lou. She’s just …’ You shook your head. ‘It’s all messing with my head, but I’ll sort myself out.’

‘You need to know something about Dina,’ April added. ‘You need to realise that she would throw you under a bus without even thinking about it. She’s actually tried to do it already, Niall. It’s me who stood in the way.’

And I saw the way your expression changed. How your mouth dropped slightly and your eyes fixed on her.

‘What do you mean?’ you asked.

‘What the fuck do you think I mean, Niall?’ she asked, with a raised eyebrow.