And then the mug fell from my hand, splitting in two and spilling the water everywhere. Nick pushed back from the table as it spread towards him, and Charles jumped up to grab what was left of the mug, setting the base upright again and mopping it up with his napkin. For his part, Morton just watched me as if he were studying a lab rat in a cage. ‘Oh, I’m so sorry,’ I said. But I said it with only half my mind on my own words. The rest was a jumble of thoughts and guesses. I kept turning the words over and over.

‘It’s all right, darling, it’s quite all right,’ Nick said in a soothing tone.

‘I know it is,’ I said angrily. ‘I dropped a cup, that’s all.’

‘I didn’t mean –’

‘I know what you meant.’ He meant that I was acting irrationally: arguing with Morton; feeling upset when I discovered where the dinner with Fellowman was to be held. Apparently smashing the damn crockery for no reason. At least he didn’t suspect the real reason that my mind was churning. I had to keep it to myself for a bit longer. I left the room.

‘Is there something I can do?’ I heard Charles ask.

‘No, just leave it,’ Nick answered him.

In the kitchen I noticed my palm was bleeding – I had cut it on the sharp china when it broke. Running it under the cold tap numbed away the pain.

With a clean handkerchief pressed on to the wound, I went back into the dining room to find them all sitting silently smoking. It was the kind of silence that said they had been speaking in hushed tones the moment before but had stopped when I entered.

‘Anyway, shall we go to the Duck?’ said Nick in an unworried tone of voice, addressing the men.

‘Why not?’ Morton replied, putting a lighted match into the bowl of his pipe. ‘I think we’ve finished here, haven’t we?’

‘I’ll take a cab home,’ Bella said sweetly to her husband. ‘There should be some on the street.’

‘Unless you would like a hand with the dishes, darling?’ Nick asked me.

‘I can do them – you go,’ I said, taking the upper half of the broken mug and placing it inside the base.

Nick stayed back while the others went to the door.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘It’s where they have all these functions. I don’t know if it’s security, or if they just like it or … oh, look, I’m babbling. I will understand if you don’t want to come.’ We were both straining to sound unstrained.

I looked him straight in the eye. ‘I’ll come,’ I said. ‘I can’t get away from it.’