“He did it to save us, Felicia.” There it was again, all this talk about saving people, that no one would break down for me. Our entire neighborhood needed saving—our buildings, my brother, Tonya—and it didn’t seem like any of it was being saved by Jesus. My literal interpretation of salvation was the reason I got so angry at God by the end of that fall. Later, I vowed not to sling these doctrines around so carelessly; it’s easy for kids to take these words at face value, then get disappointed when things don’t happen on the spot.

The very next day, I went back to Tonya’s house to see if she could come outside. This time, she opened the door. Before I could say hi, she grabbed my arm and yanked me in. It was like a cave in there. There were no lights, and it was morning but already sweltering. When we talked, our voices bounced around the room, the echo of old words coming back smothering new ones.

“How come you ain’t got no furniture?” I asked before thinking about how rude the question was.

Tonya looked away from me and then said, real low, “We used to have furniture.”

“Somebody broke in your house?” I asked.

She shook her head from side to side.

“What happened?”

“The furniture company took it. Our other stuff, I don’t know what happened to it. Sometimes, I come home from school, stuff just be gone. We moved over here with nothing but our beds and clothes.” I couldn’t say nothing. Before I could change the subject, and ask her how she been, she just kept talking. “It first started back when my little brothers and sister used to stay with us. I remember my mama telling us to stay in our room, and watch TV, and to not come out for nothing. We did stay in our room, but one time, I had to pee, and I opened the door, and I thought something was on fire, cause it smelled like something was burning. I went in the front room, and Mama was laying on the couch like she was real sleepy. Her eyes half opened. I walk closer to look at her, and then I saw this pipe laying on the couch. I went back to my room and Devon, Mina, and Mikey ain’t even know I left cause they was staring at the TV.”

“Them your brothers and sister?” I asked.

She nodded.

I tried to stay calm but was getting excited by how much she was saying to me.