“He done joined that gang,” she said. “You gone have to let him go.” Her words slid down my sweaty back, and I left them on the porch by her screen door.

Fifteen
304

I was feeling weird again. Air curled in the back of my throat, and the lighting of the porch seemed odd, like I was watching a flashback scene in a movie. The colors went matte, and I saw everything through a haze. I planned to go home, but I didn’t think I could make it without falling. I stumbled a few feet down the porch to where Precious lived, holding on to the brick wall. Over the years, her place had become a second home. I could hear a whole group of ladies in there Amening and Yes-Lording and Thank-you-Jesusing. Their voices bounced out the open window.

I knew what it was like to show up to 304 on a Saturday afternoon, that there would be a Bible Study, but something was still wrong with me, and after leaving Mama Pearl’s, it seemed like the safest place to go.

I leaned into their door and knocked. Ms. Patty, Precious’s mama, opened it. “Felicia! Come in!” she said. I walked in the living room, and five women sat around the couches, dressed all fancy. Everybody’s skin glossed from sweat, so they waved themselves with paper fans on wooden sticks. Precious was there too, with her own fan. She looked up to the women sitting there in the circle. Later that summer, after she was baptized, she’d strive to stay on a path to become as devoted and holy.

Ms. Patty pointed to a spot by this lady wearing a purple suit. I squeezed in next to her, feeling like I was going to fall over. About three different strong scents floated around that tiny room: the perfume Ms. Patty always wore, a high-pitched floral scent; the one the lady next to me took a bath in; and bleach from the floor tiles. This combination wasn’t making me any less nauseated.

“I’m so glad you came by, Felicia. It’s not too early to start thinking about your salvation,” Ms. Patty said. I didn’t know what that meant and was starting to get scared because the room twirled around again, the white light returning and the feeling in my throat getting stronger; I worried that I would throw up all over these ladies and their nice clothes.

“Precious, you want to introduce Felicia?” Ms. Patty said.

“This is Felicia Stevens. She’s my best friend,” Precious told them.

They thought that was the sweetest thing, so they all started to talk, saying things like “Welcome, Felicia!” and “Oh!” and when they calmed down, Ms. Patty said, “Sister Greer was just giving us her testimony.”