Later that morning, we all got up again and tried to jump back into our regular routines. Mama dragged a chair over to the stove, flipped on the burner, dropped the pressing comb in the fire, and turned on the radio. She couldn’t clean the house or do my hair without playing dusties, so we welcomed Herb Kent into our home, a humorous DJ who was always picking fights with his cohost during the Battle of the Best on V103.

I sat on the cold kitchen floor, locked between Mama’s thighs, flinching and holding my breath every time the pressing comb got close to my ear. The heat rose up stronger and stronger, like voices in a choir at a song’s climax. I hated getting my hair done but loved the finished product. Two hours later, it was washed, detangled, dried, oiled, then cornrowed for the week.

When Meechie got out of bed and came in the kitchen looking for food, we stopped what we were doing and held our breath. “I’m cool,” he said, and laughed a little. He made his food, and we tried to carry on, but that morning, it was so obvious that he wasn’t a part of our little group, that me and Mama had so many rituals and inside jokes and moments that Meechie didn’t have. He and Mama loved one another, but as he got older, I doubt that Meechie had anyone to go deep with. Since we couldn’t relate to his experience of being assaulted by the police, and being locked up, Meechie stepped farther away from us. It was subtle, but I could feel it.

Tonya knocked on the door while Meechie was still in the kitchen. I let her in, and she said hi to everyone. With our attention on her, Meechie slipped out of the kitchen. I was excited to show Tonya the clothes that Mama set aside for her. Some of them were Mama’s clothes that she had taken in on the sewing machine, sundresses and shorts mostly, and the other outfits were from Goodwill, where Mama bought a lot of our clothes.

Mama gave Tonya a little bag with soap, deodorant, and scented lotions in it. It came with a lecture about hygiene and how we were both young ladies who would be women before we knew it, and that we had to stay neat and groomed. I knew this talk was for Tonya, but Mama didn’t want to make her feel bad. Mama had planned this makeover the moment she saw Tonya. What we didn’t realize at the time was that the last thing that Tonya needed was any reason for people to pay more attention to her.