“Ha ha.” I let the sarcasm drip. The guys gave me shit about being a Beta, but it didn’t bother me. I was who I was, and though they gave me shit, they didn’t treat me differently. I was an equal member of the pack, and that was that. “I just don’t want anything to get in the way of this,” I finally admitted. “Not when it’s something we’ve all been waiting for.”

There weren’t any snarky comebacks to my statement. They all felt the same.

“See you all tomorrow?”

I didn’t wait to hear them say goodnight. Sleep wasn’t the main thing on my mind—it was a melody. One that popped into my head while Esme was sleeping on my chest. I needed to get it down while it was still fresh in my head.

Sitting down in the studio corner of my bedroom, I picked up my guitar.

Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

________

ESME

My heart pounded as I slowed down, finishing the run near my front door. I pushed myself this morning, running all the way to my favorite place outside the city limits—Thompson Park, somewhere I usually drove to run—and back. I needed to get all the restless energy out of my system, and now I needed the biggest, longest shower of all time.

Even after the run, my mind wouldn’t slow. Every moment of yesterday was playing over and over from Avery holding me in the nest to both Luke’s and Ben’s kisses, to Kade carrying me out the door and my snuggling with Rylan. It felt too good to be true. And now that I wasn’t surrounded by all of their scents, I was afraid it was too good to be true.

I stayed under the warm spray until it began to go cold, relieved to feel clean and clear-headed after the amount of exercise. There were some videos I needed to film today, and paints to mix. I was even thinking about starting a new painting.

A pang of pain spiked through me, low in my belly, and I groaned. “No, please. Not now.”

I should have seen this coming. It had crossed my mind, but I’d hoped otherwise. My heat hadn’t come in a long time, and the amount of time in the presence of Alphas… not just Alphas—Alphas my body responded to had woken up everything.

Heats weren’t fun for me. A day of pain followed by hiding in my bedroom, desperately trying to keep myself from running out into the street and begging to be knotted by the nearest Alpha.

I was long overdue, but that didn’t mean I was ready or grateful.