“Want to go to Oscar’s? I am in desperate need of some cake with a side of greasy fries.”

“Yes, please. Maybe it will make me feel less guilty.”

She tugged me outside, and the press converged. We didn’t speak until we were inside her car. “You have no reason to feel guilty, Esme. And believe me when I tell you it’s not easy. My heart is still racing. I’ve had years of practice standing up to assholes in the industry and you haven’t. But I hope you can tell Mom how you feel—how you really feel—at some point.”

It was a nice thought. But most of all, I wanted her to see I was happy, and I wanted her to be happy, too.

Hopefully, there would be something for both of us.

Chapter 25

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

________

ESME

I tossed a scoop of dark blue shimmer onto the table along with the iridescent white and purple I already had. It was going to mix into a gorgeous, pale lavender when I was finished.

This was the calmest I’d felt in a really long time, and it took coming back to the studio and starting to realize my mind wasn’t racing in the way it normally did.

Eva and I spent time at Oscar’s, dodging the photographers who followed us. No doubt they’d known from the restaurant what time we got there and what time we left, and there would be questions about why we left our mother sitting there. Thankfully, Jasmine was already on it, and was going to put out a statement saying our exit was planned. We were touching base with Mom before going on our own excursion.

Anyone who said they saw us arguing would be ignored. Because that was how the game was played.

And I was done playing.

I wasn’t going to pretend it would always be easy or that I wouldn’t fall back into old patterns or behaviors, but I felt better. Just a bit of freedom and it was like a band around my chest had been snapped. The paps were still going to haunt me and I was still going to avoid them like the plague, but I was also going to do my best to not care about the pictures and the questions.

My life was not theirs.

I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face, and I sang along with the music in the studio as I mixed the powder under the camera, getting enough shots for a new video. It was simple to edit it and post it, with an apology and explanation for my brief and sudden absence from posting.