Immediately, I saw what I wanted. It was a perfect crossover between what was expected of me and what I wanted. It was a black dress. Lacy and off the shoulder, it somehow managed to be feminine and edgy at once. I distinctly remember how I felt when I bought it, and the disappointment when Eva’s media team told me I couldn’t wear it.

It had been a long time since I had been told I couldn’t wear something. But it was more because I’d stopped trying to break out of the mold than that they’d left me alone.

I rarely wore dresses other than when I accompanied Eva to parties like the one where I’d met Ben. So fine. The paps wanted pictures of me? I would give them good ones. The fear in my gut was still real, but I was going to hold on to the courage the pack gave me.

My pack?

This morning Kade had made me say my room instead of the room. My pack instead of the pack.

I slipped the dress over my head and found matching shoes. This might be considered over-dressed, but it was Aurelia’s. I needed the armor. The same restaurant where I’d been humiliated, and still one of my mother’s favorite places to go.

She didn’t know about what happened. No one did—not even Eva. I hadn’t told her because it wasn’t her fault, and there was nothing she could have done.

Make-up, jewelry, and dry shampoo later, I was ready to go. It was a touch early, but I’d rather be early than late.

“Ready, Wes.”

This time I only had my sunglasses. My mother would kill me if I wore a baseball cap with this dress.

I winced, remembering this morning. It didn’t matter. I knew it didn’t, but the voice in my head was so used to it. Truthfully, I hadn’t even noticed until they pointed it out. My mother’s voice was as strong as my own in my head.

What made it worse was that she didn’t mean any harm, and I loved her. But at some point, it needed to stop.

Esme, why the black dress? Ready for another funeral? Why try dressing up? Everyone knows you’re the edgy twin. Trying to fancy up the fact that you’re slumming it?

I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes when the car door shut, breathing deep. Those questions cut deeper, and I was seeing Aaron’s face as he told me I should embrace being the slutty sister everyone wanted to fuck but no one wanted to love.

“Are you all right?”