It wasn’t a thought I had often. Not because I had any illusions about what I looked like, but because of what I’d talked about with Avery. I rarely, if ever, wore what I really wanted. Even the night I met Ben, it had been a dress of Eva’s. It looked great on me, but it wasn’t what I would have chosen for myself.

Running my hands down the fabric, I loved all of it, but the thought of going downstairs was still like walking straight into my funeral. There wasn’t a way to conquer this fear without facing it. And yet, I wanted to stay locked in here forever, just me in the dress. If I was by myself, there was no one to laugh at me.

My stomach flipped with nerves. Someone would come looking for me when I didn’t come down. By now Avery would have told them enough. I didn’t want them to suddenly feel like they had to walk on eggshells around me because I was afraid of them. I wasn’t afraid of them. It was the cruelty of my own mind.

I hated that I was so fucking broken I couldn’t even walk into a room with a pack who was on my side without ending up a mess. It was that thought which finally drove me from the room and down the stairs.

The dress had a train on it, dragging behind me down the stairs, and for a brief, fleeting moment, I felt like I was in a different time, descending the stairs to a ball filled with suitors waiting for me.

In the living room the television was on, low in the background while they talked. What was I going to do, sweep in there and yell ‘ta-da’? I stopped just outside the door, terror sinking through me all over again. Under my skin, the urge to run was building. My entire body shook.

Conversation stopped in the room.

Luke’s voice. “Esme?”

I didn’t answer him.

“We can scent you, sweetheart. Are you going to come out?”

“No,” I mumbled. But I took a deep breath, curled my hands into fists, and walked out into view. My spine was so straight it could snap.

They were all staring at me, and no one spoke. All the air was gone. There was nothing to breathe, and they were still in complete silence. I couldn’t stay here, not while they stared and decided what they thought of this version of me.

I turned and took one step.

“No you don’t,” Kade’s voice froze me in my tracks, all Alpha bark. He was already halfway across the room to me, eyes roving over me and this confection of a dress.