I swallowed. “Okay, but do we have to still be in the middle of all the underwear to do it?”

“No,” he chuckled. “I think we can work on that.”

We walked through the department store, Avery leading me, holding my hand firmly until we reached the nesting section. “Choose a place to sit.”

“We can’t use these,” I said. “They’re for everyone.”

“Everyone includes you, baby girl. And I’m sure people sit in them to try them out. I’m not going to fuck you in one, but you need a place that’s safe.”

I looked at the various fabrics and colors, looking for something that looked and felt like my nest. Nothing even came close to what they’d let me do with mine, but there were a bunch of dark blue velvet pillows calling to me. I went and sat in the middle of them, pulling one of them into my lap so I could feel the texture.

Avery went a step further. He laid down in the pillows and patted the one beside him. Fuck it. If the employees had a problem, I would let him handle it. I scooted over to him and laid where he told me to, tucking one pillow under my head.

He rolled me gently to my side so I faced him, and I didn’t meet his eyes. There was no part of me which wanted to have this conversation, just like I knew there was no part of him which would let it slip by.

“Before I ask you anything, I need you to know I’m not angry with you.”

“I know,” I said. If I’d sensed any anger in him, I knew myself well enough to know I’d already be gone.

“Good. So tell me why you think we would think you’re silly for wanting to wear something as pretty as that nightdress?”

I ran my finger over the pillow squished between us, savoring the softness of the fabric and trying to distract myself. “It’s just not what I usually wear.”

“And?”

“I don’t know.”

“Don’t lie to me, Esme. You already tried it once, don’t do it again.”

Squeezing my eyes shut, I curled around the pillow. I wasn’t lying. Not completely. I didn’t know which single thing made this hard. It was too many things to figure out, all tangled up in my life as a shadow girl.

Avery’s scent wrapped around me, and his purr started. I couldn’t help but relax when I heard that sound, but it wasn’t enough to make me let go of the pillow which was anchoring me to the earth.

“Baby girl,” he said, sliding a hand over my side. Just soothing, but not trapping me. “Talk to me.”