“Prozac, sweetie, I didn’t bring home any leftovers.”

She continued her ankle dance.

“Seriously,” I said. “No pastrami. No corned beef.”

I headed to the kitchen, Prozac at my heels, meowing loudly. I prefer my pastrami as lean as possible, is what I think she was trying to tell me.

I took out a can of cat food from the cupboard.

“Look, Prozac, your favorite. Fancy salmon guts.”

Suddenly the dancing stopped. She shot me an injured look.

“Prozac, I’m sorry. There were no doggie bags. What did you expect me to do? Stuff my purse with cold cuts?”

I don’t see why not, she meowed.

I opened the salmon guts and put it in her bowl. She sniffed at it, and walked away.

“Okay, don’t eat it,” I called after her. “Starving cats in Asia would be thrilled to eat fancy salmon guts! Starving cats in Asia would be happy to have dinner, and not be dinner!”

I let her sulk on the sofa; sooner or later she’d get around to eating. In the meanwhile, I had work to do. I sat down at my dining table with a legal pad, and started writing.

My Suspects

By Jaine Austen

Hal Kingsley: Unfaithful husband. Indifferent father. Was he tired of paying the upkeep on a trophy wife? Did he bump off SueEllen to save himself the trauma and expense of a messy divorce? He could have easily slipped away from his office and done the dirty deed. Or did he get someone else to do it for him? Someone like…

Nurse Denise: Could’ve been the blonde Heidi saw in the hallway. Did she kill SueEllen, hoping Hal would marry her once he was a free man? She was obviously crazy about the guy. But was she crazy enough to kill for him?

Larkspur O’Leary: Hal’s New Age nymphette. Maybe she bumped off SueEllen to clear the decks for matrimony. But the cops say she was with clients all morning. Was she, really? Could she have somehow slipped away? Was she as ditsy as she seemed? Or was she a smart cookie just waiting to trade in the name Larkspur O’Leary for Mrs. Hal Kingsley?

Ginny Pearson: In spite of her generosity doling out baby lamb chops, could she possibly be a killer? Had she been seething with resentment because SueEllen had stolen her man and robbed her of a life of luxury? Did she sneak off from her job selling Bloomie’s pantyhose and fry SueEllen with a hair dryer?

Eduardo Jensen: SueEllen’s lover. Maybe SueEllen gave him a key to the house, so he could let himself in for secret sexfests. Maybe he used that key on the day of the murder and killed SueEllen to keep her from telling the world his dirty secret. Note to self: Find out dirty secret. Heidi Kingsley: Had the motive. Had the opportunity. Still can’t believe she did it.

Unlike her brother…

Brad Kingsley: Says he was with his friends at the time of SueEllen’s death. But the friends could be lying. Easy to picture a skunk like Brad sneaking home from school and killing SueEllen for a new HAIRBALL—