“Who needs a man,” I asked Prozac, who was perched on top of the toilet tank, “when you’ve got a hot bath and a cold chardonnay?”

Certainly not me, she seemed to be saying, licking her privates with gusto.

Then I reached for the picture of SueEllen. God, she was a knockout. Even in that crappy dress and bad haircut. She was one of those irritating women who go straight from adorable child to spectacular adult, totally bypassing any awkward stages. Unlike her sister. Poor Carolee. With her squat body, and plain features, she certainly was the loser in that gene pool.

Yet there was something about her face that looked familiar. Where had I seen it before? While SueEllen smiled boldly at the camera, Carolee looked at the ground with downcast eyes. They were like two characters from a fairy tale. SueEllen, the princess. Carolee, the lowly servant girl. And that’s when it hit me. I knew who that face belonged to. The servant who was always looking down at the ground, afraid to make eye contact. It was Conchi, with blond hair. Yes, the resemblance was undeniable.

Conchi was SueEllen’s sister Carolee. The same Carolee who’d just been aced out of Aunt Melanie’s will. What had Aunt Melanie written in her letter? That she was afraid Carolee might try to pull some “funny business.” What if Aunt Melanie was right, and the funny business was murder?

What if Aunt Melanie had left all her money to SueEllen, but SueEllen wasn’t around to collect it? If Carolee was next in line as beneficiary, she would have had the perfect motive for murder.

I sat up abruptly in the tub, and took another slug of my chardonnay. Maybe the cops had arrested the wrong person. Maybe Eduardo was innocent. Maybe he hadn’t been trying to kill me. Maybe he was just some crazy transvestite who’d tried to scare me into keeping his secret.

Suddenly the chardonnay turned to bile in my throat. I remembered the phone call I’d made just a little while ago. I’d told Conchi about the picture. Surely she’d figure out that I might recognize her. If she really did kill SueEllen, then she wouldn’t hesitate to kill me. I had to call Lt. Webb right away. And then I had to grab Prozac and get the hell out of my apartment.

But it was too late.

Because just then I looked up and saw Conchi standing in the doorway, a gun in her hand. No longer a dark-haired Latina, but a blonde.

“You really should keep your windows locked,” she said, aiming the gun straight at my heart.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Don’t you just hate it when you’re having a nice relaxing soak in the tub, and a murderer shows up?

I don’t know about you, but I for one was in an advanced state of panic. All I could think of was that I’d be naked when the cops discovered my body. If only I’d gone to Weight Watchers! If only I’d joined a gym! If only I hadn’t turned on that damn radio! Then I would’ve heard Conchi coming and escaped through the bathroom window. These were the thoughts that raced through my mind as I stared into the barrel of Conchi’s gun.