Killer Blonde

DEATH BY BUBBLE BATH

“But you can’t quit,” Heidi said. “When will I see you?”

“We can meet after school.”

“What happens when you get another job?”

She had me there.

“Can’t you stay a little while longer, until I get used to this ‘stick up for myself’ thing?”

The thought of one more day on that toilet bowl made me cringe, but Heidi looked so vulnerable, I couldn’t say no.

“Okay,” I sighed. “But just for a few more weeks.”

As it turned out, I didn’t even have to stay a few more hours. Because when I walked into the bathroom to report for work, the first thing I saw was SueEllen floating face down in the bathtub.

“SueEllen?” I called out, hoping maybe she was doing some new age water aerobics.

But she didn’t answer.

At first I thought it was an accident; maybe SueEllen slipped in the tub. But then I saw something floating alongside SueEllen’s loofa sponge and triple-milled French soap: A hair dryer. Plugged into an electrical outlet.

SueEllen had been electrocuted!

I managed to keep my cool for a whole three and a half seconds. After which I went screaming down the hallways like an extra in Nightmare on Elm Street….

Books by Laura Levine

THIS PEN FOR HIRE

LAST WRITES

KILLER BLONDE

SHOES TO DIE FOR

Published by Kensington Publishing Corporation

A Jaine Austen Mystery

Killer Blonde

Laura Levine

KENSINGTON BOOKS

KENSINGTON PUBLISHING CORP.

http://www.kensingtonbooks.com

For Mark

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Many thanks to my editor, John Scognamiglio, for believing in Jaine Austen—and for thinking up such a nifty title. To my agent, Evan Marshall, for being such a good listener and advice-giver extraordinaire. Thanks also to Joanne Fluke, author of the deliciously clever Hannah Swensen mysteries, for her much-appreciated generosity. And to Carlos Marrero for his terrific cover art. A special thanks to my family and friends, for their love and support. And, finally, because I know he’ll be impossible to live with if I don’t mention him, thanks to the cat in my life, Mr. Guy.

Contents

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

You’ve Got Mail!

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

You’ve Got Mail!

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

You’ve Got Mail!

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

You’ve Got Mail!

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

You’ve Got Mail!

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

You’ve Got Mail!

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Epilogue

Prologue

My name is Jaine, and I’m a bathaholic.

Yes, it’s true. I like nothing better than to tear off my clothes in the middle of the afternoon and leap into a hot bubble bath. So it’s lucky I’m a freelance writer. While other working stiffs are trapped in offices, chained to their computers, I can hop into the tub any time I please.

Which is what I was doing the day SueEllen Kingsley first called me. I’d just finished writing a slogan for a new client, Tip Top Dry Cleaners (We’ll clean for you. We’ll press for you. We’ll even dye for you.), and I was relaxing in a marvelous haze of strawberry-scented bubbles. The mirrors were fogged over. The radio, if I remember correctly, was playing a soulful Diana Krall love song. And my cat Prozac was perched on top of the toilet tank, licking her privates, visions of fish guts dancing in her head.