Back Inside the Miracle
Chapters (103)
  1. Cover
  2. Title
  3. Dedication
  4. Upon Seeking Tu Fu as a Guide
  5. To My Reader
  6. Enduring Suffering
  7. God, Self, and Medicine
  8. Willfulness
  9. In Voices Half as Loud
  10. Tu Fu’s Reappearance
  11. Without Notice
  12. The Waiting Room
  13. Endgame
  14. Questions to Walk With
  15. A Terrible Knowledge
  16. October Storm
  17. Post-Op
  18. Setting Fires in the Rain
  19. The Decision for Therapy
  20. Questions to Walk With
  21. Ocean of Sky
  22. For My Brother
  23. Covenant with Time
  24. As Rachel Wakes
  25. Dance of the Seed
  26. A Sacred Meditation
  27. Questions to Walk With
  28. Messenger Signs
  29. Where We Are Strong
  30. As If to Say
  31. Finding a Way Out
  32. Questions to Walk With
  33. Approaching Wholeness
  34. Troubled Waters
  35. Knowing God
  36. The Garage
  37. Living with the Wound
  38. Questions to Walk With
  39. Mind Sweats
  40. First Treatment
  41. Cradlesong
  42. Lifesong with Two Trumpets
  43. Letter Home
  44. Who Will Live Your Life?
  45. Questions to Walk With
  46. Midway in Our Journey
  47. Magnificence
  48. Another Chance
  49. Nesting
  50. I Have Not Forgotten
  51. On My Way
  52. Questions to Walk With
  53. Facing the River
  54. Being Human
  55. As Moonlight
  56. In the Back of the Eye
  57. In the Sea of Others
  58. Moonglow
  59. Chores
  60. Questions to Walk With
  61. Still Here, Still Wondering
  62. Unraveling the Self
  63. Cracked or Healing
  64. For Nur
  65. Love-Sufferings
  66. Soft as Satisfaction
  67. Letting Go
  68. Inside the Miracle
  69. Questions to Walk With
  70. Sifting Truth
  71. Susan Means Lily
  72. Sitting Near a Smoke Bush
  73. Sniffing For You
  74. Forged
  75. It
  76. Surviving Has Made Me Crazy
  77. For That
  78. Questions to Walk With
  79. Flint Work
  80. Entering Our Tenth Year
  81. Coming of Age
  82. After Mira
  83. Still
  84. What Can I Do?
  85. Love Your Window
  86. Hourglass
  87. Questions to Walk With
  88. The Bridge of Well-Being
  89. Adrift
  90. The Beauty of Less
  91. Between the Wall and the Flame
  92. Eventually
  93. Thrown Back
  94. The Slow Arm of All That Matters
  95. The Thin Magic
  96. In the Sky of Heart
  97. The Sway of It All
  98. Gratitudes
  99. Notes
  100. Permissions
  101. About the Author
  102. Also by the Author
  103. About Sounds True

How often we walk about with the soft brilliant bird trapped in our head, without even knowing. Of course, we each must ask, what constitutes those bars, which, focused on, turn the world oppressive? What makes up the cage though we can’t see it—worry, fear, doubt, anger, lack of self-worth, a refusal to accept things as they are, the urgent need for approval, a relentless fear of death—What? Even more crucial, what is the soft and brilliant bird perched between our eyes? Is it the Atman that Hindus praise, the breath of the Eternal Self exhaling from our deepest almost unreachable Center? And what must we do to see the world from that soft bird’s eye? Isn’t this tiny feathery spirit that lives within us worthy of our friendship?

The American poet Theodore Roethke calls this tiny voice “a light breather . . . a music in a hood,” and Rilke has captured the torture of life focused only on the bars in his famous poem “The Panther”:

His vision, from the constantly passing bars,

has grown so weary that it cannot hold

anything else. It seems to him there are

a thousand bars; and behind the bars, no world.

Yet like so many of life’s deepest truths, we seldom experience our gifts and trials separately. A profound treatment of all this is René Magritte’s eerie painting of a faceless man whose chest is an open cage with a white bird perched peacefully in the cage, not flying, though the cage remains open.

If we can see the white bird perched in its open cage as our inner heart facing the world, we are left with this quandary: Is the bird free at last and incapable of exercising its long-awaited freedom? Or, finally seeing with the eyes of inner freedom, is the bird surprised that there is nowhere to go; that what was a cage for so long is really its nest, its home; that freedom is in the heart’s eye all along?

We’re brought back to risk, to the question of how to protect ourselves by being who we are. We are so steeped in skepticism and distrust in our age that this simple truism might seem like an outright contradiction. In his poem, “Self-Protection,” D. H. Lawrence affirms the power and durability of living by our own light when he declares that creatures that hide their essential nature have all become extinct and only those who live in outright splendor like the tiger and the nightingale have survived:

A nightingale singing at the top of his voice

Is neither hiding himself nor preserving himself;

He is giving himself away in every sense of the word;

And obviously, it is the culminating point of his

existence . . .