‘*****, King! **** * ****** ***, eh?’

[‘Hello, King! Who’s a clever boy, eh?’]

[King repeats.]

‘Tumhara nam kya hai?’

[Bitch responds.]

‘***** **** ***** ******, King? ****?’

[‘What’s that you’re saying, King? Hmmn?’]

[King speaks in a ‘tender’ voice.]

Hullo! Hullo!

Bitch is now beaming from ear to ear.

[Bitch speaks.]

‘****, *****, King! *****, King! ***** ***, King?’

[‘Well, hello, King! Hello, King! How’re you, King?’]

Bitch pushes a finger into King’s ‘cage’ and gently tickles his ‘chest’ with it. Much to Baldo’s astonishment, King does not jump away, squawking, or attempt to bite Bitch. King merely simpers and emits yet more of the tender, trilling throat noise.

King actually seems to like Bitch!

[Bitch speaks.]

‘********* King! Eh? ****** King! ***** *** * ********, ****** *********? Eh?’

[‘Beautiful King! Eh? Lovely King! Aren’t you a friendly, little gentleman? Eh?’]

[King speaks.]

‘Hullo, King! Hullo, King!’

Baldo’s crest slowly rises as he observes the oleaginous King in action.

Baldo sneezes.

Baldo’s crest slowly falls.

Baldo’s feathers gradually start to inflate until soon he looks almost double his original size.

Silence.

More gentle chest stroking between King and Bitch.

[Bitch sighs, regretfully.]

‘**** ** ****** ** *** ****** ** *******. *** *** *** ***, King!’

[‘Well I’d better go and finish my ironing. Bye bye for now, King!’]

Bitch slowly withdraws her finger, turns and heads out of the room … But – horror of horrors! – Bitch has only gone and forgotten to bid a tender farewell to the hugely irked and inflated Baldo! Baldo remains glued to the spot, plainly stung by this terrible omission.

King eyes Baldo’s inflated torso with evident amusement. He smugly preens again. Then he saunters to the far end of his cage and partakes of a choice piece of chopped mango from his bowl. He seems very pleased with himself.

The silent Baldo is incandescent with rage.

Why?

Because this is Baldo’s ‘living room’, stupid!

And King is an interloper!

Yes!

And King is a sly, evil, cunning interloper!

Yes!

And … and King is a … a … a thief!

Baldo, Baldo, Baldo, Baldo, Baldo hates King!

He finds that he … yes, that he, that he hates King!

WAAARGHH!

[Expressed interiorly.]

King is a sneak!

King is a brown-nose!

King is a dirty, calculating thief of Baldo-sounds and Baldo ‘air’ and Baldo ‘table’ and Baldo … Baldo … Baldo-bitch! Even Bitch! Who Baldo hates! For … for ‘cage’ and no ‘sky’ and … and no ‘egg’ and being … being ‘he’ instead of ‘she’ … yes!

Baldo loathes King. But Baldo lacks the necessary proximity and vocabulary to fully express to King how much he (she) hates him.

Baldo stares at King, enraged.

(?)

(!)

A tiny fly buzzes around Baldo’s cage and then enters between the bars. The fly buzzes around Baldo’s head while Baldo stares at King. The fly lands on Baldo’s beak. Baldo stares at the fly. Baldo stares at King. Baldo stares at the fly again. His/her feathers remain immensely inflated with air. This display seems to be demanding extraordinary levels of effort and concentration on Baldo’s part.