‘Not too ill. No. Not at first. But her parents wanted to stop her from praying. She had a special, little prayer that Father Hugh had taught her which she liked to say. But literally all the time. All the time. To save souls. Every time she said it she saved a soul. They thought it was … they thought she was mentally ill. Fixated.’

‘Goodbye!’ I announced. But I was actually saying, ‘And they both thought that? Bran? Kalinda?’ I reached for the door. I tried to turn the handle, but my fingers kept slipping, the mechanism wouldn’t … My fingers couldn’t …

‘I think it was one of the only things they ever actually agreed about.’ She chuckled. She clambered to her feet. ‘Here, let me … It sometimes tends to …’

She drew close and reached for the handle. Her mouth was still moving. If it moved any further … if she said anything else … if she … if I couldn’t … But it did … It did … And so I … So I … simply to shut her up … I just … Soaking wet … I just … With my mouth … I … I pressed … On … on … on her mouth. She gasped.

Then the door was open and I ran out. I simply fled. I ran. Out.

20

Teobaldo

[Baldo speaks.]

Baldo! Baldo! Baldo! Baldo! Baldo! W—

[King suddenly interrupts.]

WAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! WAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

WAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! WAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

WAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

Baldo stares over towards King’s cage in stunned silence.

[King …]

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Pause.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Bitch comes sprinting into the ‘living room’ in a complete flap.

‘Baldo! **** ** ******* **** ** ***** **** ***? ***** *****, Baldo? *** *** ***? *** *** ** **** **** ** ****? **** ** **, ****** ***? ** ** *** ***? *** *** *** *** ***? ******** ****** ** *** ****** *****? ****? ***** *****, Baldo? **** *****.’

[‘Baldo! What in heaven’s name is wrong with you? What’s wrong, Baldo? Are you ill? Are you in some kind of pain? What is it, little man? Is it the cat? Did you see the cat? Prowling around in the garden again? Hmmn? What’s wrong, Baldo? Tell Mummy.’]

Pause.

Bitch turns.

‘King? *** ***** ***, ****** ******? *** *** ** *****, *****? *** Baldo ***** *** **** *** **** ***** ******?’

[‘King? How about you, little fellow? Are you all right, there? Did Baldo scare you with all that awful racket?’]

King commences preening. Then stretches out his wing. Then gives Bitch ‘the glad eye’.

[Bitch speaks.]

‘Awww! **** ***, King! ***** *** ******** **, eh? ***** *** *****, King? ****?’

[‘Awww! Good boy, King! How’re you settling in, eh? How’re you doing, King? Hmmn?’]

King produces a little, tender trilling sound. He triple-blinks at Bitch. Then turns. Then shits. Then turns back again.

King glances casually towards Baldo.

[King speaks in a simpering voice.]

‘Tumhara nam kya hai?’

[‘What’s your name?’]

[Bitch responds, thrilled.]