The music in the roller rink was deafening, all the better to drown out the screaming, I thought to myself as I staggered over, half-walking, half-wheeling, all petrified. What was I thinking? Women over the age of thirty had no business on roller skates. What if I had early-onset osteoporosis and didn’t know it? My nan had it and yes, she was in her late eighties, but still. As the bass thumped, the disco lights shimmered and shone, spinning even faster than the people already racing around the roller rink.

‘Maybe it’s actually easier when you’re drunk,’ I reasoned, rolling one foot out onto the rink. I had certainly never shown up sober before but that was what your twenties was for, wasn’t it? Always drunk, never hungover. No wonder I missed them so much …

‘Whooo! Go, Ros!’ Lucy cheered and clapped from the sidelines as I propelled myself forward, keeping one hand within grabbing distance of the railing, my upper body a half-second behind my lower half.

OK, I thought, relaxing into myself and skating a little faster. It wasn’t so bad, I could definitely do it. Enjoy it? Maybe not but do it, definitely.

‘Ros, this is the best thing ever!’ A dark-haired flash spun by me, sending me crashing back into the side of the rink. It was Sumi, whizzing by backwards before executing a perfect spin and stopping right in front of me. ‘I can’t believe we stopped coming here, you’re a genius. Thank you so much!’

‘How is she still so good?’ I gasped as she roared away across the floor, only stopping to pirouette around Jemima and then race off to the bar.

Determined to find my roller-girl mojo, I pushed myself away from the side. My jeans felt too stiff, my sleeves too restrictive and my carefully blown-out hair was all in my face. Everything was wrong. Everything took so much more thought these days; back in our early twenties, we just did things. I didn’t care what I was wearing or what the consequences might be but now, ten years on, I felt tight and awkward and couldn’t bring my brain back to the present moment. It was far too comfortable working three steps ahead, in a reality where I’d already fallen, broken my neck and ended up in a home, right next to my nan while she sat and crowed, morning, noon and night, all because she wanted to go roller skating.