‘Somewhere brilliant,’ I said as I took a sharp left off the main street and down a somewhat suspicious-looking alley that cried out for you to hold onto your handbag. Yes, this was exactly how I remembered it. Fantastic. ‘Do you honestly not remember?’

‘The only thing I know around here is a gay bathhouse and please don’t ask me how I know because I’m not at liberty to say,’ Adrian said. ‘I haven’t been to Vauxhall for aeons. In fact the last time I was here, I think it was … Oh, Rosalind fucking Reynolds, you didn’t?’

‘I most certainly did,’ I replied, throwing my arms out to present our destination. The Moonlight Roller Rink. ‘How amazing is this?’

Adrian’s face dropped.

‘Do you honestly not remember?’

‘I remember we used to come here all the time and we always loved it,’ I said, hopping up and down as we reached the front door. ‘Stop being an arse. Everyone’s skating again, Adrian, it’s what all the cool kids are doing, have you not seen Euphoria?’

‘No?’

‘Well, neither have I but I read a recap that said they all went roller skating,’ I said as I handed him a neon-pink towelling headband. ‘So please try to enjoy yourself. We’ll skate, we’ll drink and then we’ll go dancing. Best. Birthday. Ever.’

‘Oh, Ros,’ Adrian said, slipping the sweatband over his head before reaching out to pat my shoulder. ‘Dear, sweet, stupid Ros.’

‘Stupid like a fox,’ I argued. ‘Sumi is going to—’

‘Moonlight Roller Rink?’ my friend’s voice boomed over my shoulder. ‘You’re kidding me?’

‘Sumi is going to remind you the last time we were here, that Samantha girl she was obsessed with broke up with her and she fell over and shattered her ankle,’ Adrian whispered in my ear.

‘Happy birthday,’ I exclaimed weakly, handing over a huge helium balloon. Lucy and Jemima waved awkwardly and a gaggle of other women, referred to exclusively by Sumi as her Lesbian Lawyer Coven, loitered in the background. No one seemed quite sure of what to say, which was a big deal when you considered how many lawyers I was dealing with.

‘Roller skating? Fuck yes.’

I peered past Sumi’s giant balloon to see John the bartender striding down the alleyway, waving a hello. ‘All right everybody? Happy birthday, Sumi.’

‘You’re up for this?’ Sumi asked, looking more than a little bit surprised.

‘It’s been a while but it’s got to be like riding a bike, hasn’t it?’ John replied as he made the rounds, hugs and cheek kisses for everyone, pausing when he got to me and making do with a bright smile and an arrogant wink.

‘I don’t know,’ Sumi said. ‘I do not have time for a broken ankle right now.’